Strange Rooms
by Leah Aute
Summary: Naruto is in the Hidden Leaf hospital, recovering from grave injuries. He has finally woken up and now must deal with the consequences. AU.
1. Day 1: Part 1

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine and you know it. Sakura would be allowed to kick butt if it was. -_-

Warnings: Some swearing, sexual situations, and violence, throughout. Just minor swearing in this part. Also, there are spoilers, pretty much up through the current manga chapters. You really need to have seen through Itachi's return and when Naruto first meets Tsunade, to understand everything that's going on here. This is a sort of AU, beginning about a week after Naruto and Tsunade met. Since I'm a yaoi fangirl, there will be boy-boy love, but the het pairings are too cute to be ignored, so if you can't stand boy-girl love you may want to look elsewhere. And that's all, for now.

Rating: Probably PG-13 overall, may be subject to change

Oh and things in italics indicate memories…Don't groan, I don't use them that often.

Strange Rooms

Day 1 part 1

              Naruto woke slowly, blinking as he tried to figure out what was wrong. The ceiling wasn't his own. He couldn't tell exactly what it was, but something about it was off. And his head hurt.

              "Oww!"

              He winced, closing his eyes and trying to bring his arms up to his temples. Unfortunately, another problem appeared. His arms were trapped beneath a heavy blanket that had been tucked in tightly enough that it restricted his movement. "The hell?" He winced again and spoke in a quieter tone. "What happened?"

              Opening his eyes he looked around. The medical center. He was in the hospital. He remembered it; he'd been here after that pervert Jiraiya had pushed him off that cliff. But why was he here now? He couldn't seem to remember what'd happened to send him there. It must involve his head though, since that was the only part of him that hurt. He wriggled, trying to get free of the sheets. Whoever had tucked him in had been thorough; they must not have wanted him to go anywhere. After a large amount of struggling, he managed to pull himself loose. Finally free, he settled back against the pillow to try and think.

              He was all alone in a hospital room with no idea why he was there and a headache. No one had checked on him since he'd woken up, which meant he wasn't in critical condition. Either that or they were ignoring him. That would figure. He would've hoped that at least Iruka-sensei would come… He rolled onto his left side and stared at the wall, feeling miserable and confused. He'd been with the pervert trying to convince Tsunade to come back and heal Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke. That Itachi bastard had left a huge mess behind him before the open pervert had chased him off. So why was he here now?

              "Hey, you lazy moron, are you going to sit in bed all day?"

              He turned to face the door. Sasuke was standing in the doorway, frowning at him. They stared at each other for a long minute as Sasuke's expression slowly went from annoyance to vague concern. That clinched it. This was definitely a dream. Sasuke wasn't the concerned type. He was more of a 'stop whining and get over it' kind of guy.

              Suddenly Sasuke began to move, walking over to the bed and leaning down to put a hand on his forehead. "Hey, are you really all right? You didn't go dumb, did you?" His tone was brisk, his words clipped.

              Definitely not Sasuke. Naruto punched him in the stomach.

              Even as he doubled over Sasuke countered, hitting him in the head. Naruto groaned, fighting to stay conscious. Damn Sasuke, he hadn't held back at all! When Sasuke got his breath back he spoke. "What was that for?"

              Naruto blinked at him, trying to focus. "Huh?"

              "You hit me!"

              "Oh yeah. Doesn't matter though, since you aren't real."

              "What?"

              "You aren't real. You were worried. The real Sasuke would never be worried."

              Fake Sasuke's eyes widened and he started to speak but nothing came out.

              "And he's sick," Naruto continued. "So you can't be him."

              Fake Sasuke didn't even try to say anything, he simply stared at Naruto.

              "But that's OK. Because you're at least here and I'm tired of being alone."

              "How do you know I'm not real?"

              "Because you're worried. No one real worries about me. Except Iruka-sensei. That's why he's the greatest!" Naruto proclaimed proudly, smiling.

              Another silence.

              Naruto yawned. "Well, if you aren't going to say anything, I'm going back to sleep, Fake Sasuke." He curled up and pulled the covers to his chin. "G'night."

              "It's morning." Was the last thing he heard before drifting off.

*            *            *

              Naruto woke up slowly, sitting up and looking around. He wasn't in his room for some reason, but was in the hospital. "Huh?"

              "Ah! You're awake!"

              He focused on the speaker. "Hinata?"

              She blushed and stared at the floor. She was fiddling with a packet in her hands.

              "What are you doing here?"

              "Well…I was…um…"

              "What?"

              "I was worried…because you were so sick and…and…"

              "Worried? About me?"

              She was going to tear the packet open if she wasn't careful. "Y-yes. Because you were so very sick and…" She continued but her voice was too quiet for him to hear.

              "What was that? I couldn't hear you?"

              "I…I…"

              The door slid open and Sasuke stepped inside. "She's been here since she heard you were hurt. She's only left to eat and sleep."

              Hinata was now bright red and completely incoherent. She probably would've sunk through the floor if she could have. Naruto stared at her. "Really?"

              She nodded, unable to reply. Sasuke stepped forward and placed the pitcher of water he'd brought with him on the bedside stand. "It's a shame you didn't wait a few hours longer to wake up. Iruka-sensei wanted to be here when you woke again."

              "He isn't here?"

              "He has class." Sasuke looked around. "Where did Kakashi go?"

              "Sensei?"

              "Yeah." Sasuke responded with a shrug. "Iruka bullied him into watching you while he was teaching."

              "Really?" Naruto grinned foolishly. "But, but, wasn't he sick?"

              Sasuke tensed momentarily. "Yes."

              'Hmm…" Naruto through for a moment then comprehension dawned on him. He pointed at Sasuke, suddenly excited. "Hey! You were sick too! What are you doing here?"

              "Idiot."

              "Umm…Tsunade-sama came back with you and Jiraiya-sama and she healed them both." Hinata quailed as both boys stared at her. "So here he is!" She finished in a rush.

              Sasuke frowned at the door, probably trying to figure out how Kakashi had left without him noticing. Hinata pointed to the window. "He went that way."

              "Eh? Why'd he leave?"

              "To tell Iruka you are awake, obviously."

              "Really? Hey, hey, do you think he's going to come visit?" Naruto looked overjoyed at the prospect.

              "Why else would he want to know you're awake, idiot?"

              "Stop calling me that!"

              "Why shouldn't I? You are an idiot."

              "I am not."

              "Yes, you are."

              "No, I'm not."

              "You are. You're an idiot. A complete moron."

              "Sasuke, you bastard! I'm going to kill you!"

              "Kill me?" Sasuke was far too smug. "You can't even move."

              "Oh yeah? Watch me! I'm gonna beat your face in, y-ahh?" Naruto practically leapt out of bed to stand in front of Sasuke and glare at him. However, after only a few seconds, before he even finished talking, his legs gave out and he fell forward.

              Sasuke caught him. "You complete moron, what do you think you're doing?"

              "'m trying to kick your ass." Naruto grumbled.

              "You idiot."

              "I told you not to call me that!"

              "Then stop doing stupid things."

              "Don't act so high and mighty! I'm definitely going to beat you!"

              "You're going to try."

              "I beat dark eyes, I can beat you!"

              "Dark eyes?"

              "That freak from Hidden Sand village."

              "Gaara?"

              "Whatever."

              "That was just luck."

              "Was not! You couldn't beat him."

              "Shut up! I could have won, if you hadn't interfered."

              "If I hadn't jumped in you'd be dead!"

              "Don't think I'm like you, needing to be rescued all the time."

              "I don't…I'm plenty strong! I don't need your help."

              "Oh, really?"

              "Yeah! I beat Haku and Gaara and Neji and I freed Kakashi-sensei from Zabuza's-"

              "Only with my help." Sasuke interrupted.

              "Shut up! As soon as I can move I'm gonna kick your-"

              "You're repeating yourself."

              "Stop interrupting me!"

              "Why shouldn't I interrupt? You're just repeating yourself and it wasn't interesting the first time around anyway."

              "Sasuke, you complete bastard, even if I can't move I'll beat you!"

              Sasuke sighed. "Can't you do anything but make crude threats, you absolute idiot."

              "Just you watch, you'll see! I'll prove to you and everyone else just how strong I am!"

              They glared at each other, Naruto still leaning on Sasuke, their faces mere inches apart. Nothing was said for several minutes as they stared, trying to make the other back down with the power of their gaze. They were interrupted, however, by the sound of tearing paper and a startled cry. They turned to look at Hinata, who'd been forgotten in the background. She had torn open the packet she'd held in her hands. She'd knelt and was trying to push the powder that had been inside it into a neat pile with her bare hands. She looked up, sensing them staring, and blushed. "Umm…I…Um… You shouldn't fight! Naruto-kun is still sick and…"

              Naruto and Sasuke looked back at each other and started. They'd been so busy arguing they hadn't realized how close to each other they'd gotten. Sasuke pushed Naruto away, looking upset. Naruto fell back against the bed with a yelp then pushed himself up to glare at Sasuke again. "You could be a little nicer you know."

              Sasuke started to respond then cut himself off, frowned, spun on his heel, and stalked from the room. Naruto stared after him. "What was that about?"

              Hinata rushed to his side, distressed. "Are you all right?"

              "Eh? Me? I'll be fine."

              "Oh…"

              There was a long silence then he looked at her, face serious. "I am going to beat him."

              "Huh?"

              "Sasuke. I'm going to beat him some day. I'm going to beat him and prove how strong I am."

              "To him or to yourself?"

              He stared at her. "What?"

              "Ahh…It's just something Kurenai-sensei asked me once. 'Are you going to win to prove your strength to them or to yourself'."

              "Oh…" he considered that. "What did you say?"

              "I…well…I said I wasn't sure I would win but…I…I wanted to show that I could."

              "To them or you?"

              "Everyone."

              "Everyone…"

              "Naruto-kun?"

              "Eh?"

              "Do you need more painkillers?"

              "Painkillers?"

              She nodded. "Yes…Well, I accidentally spilled it but I can go get more."

              He fell back against the bed. "No. I'll be fine, I just…"

              "What?"

              "I just wish Iruka-sensei was here."

              "Oh."

              "And that I had some ramen."

              "He…Iruka should be here after classes let out. Konohamaru-kun and his friends usually come check on you then too."

              "Oh. Ne, Hinata?"

              "Yes?"

              "Why are you here?"

              "Me?"

              "Yeah. Sasuke was here to bother me, but why are you here?"

              "Well…I…um…I…ah! I'm going to get those painkillers! I'll, um, be right back!" That said, she rushed from the room.

              Naruto blinked. "She's so weird."

*            *            *

              Iruka glared at the two children standing before him in front of the rest of the class. The other students were watching intently, as eager as ever to see someone else getting punished. "Rin, Aki, what did you two think you were doing?"

              "He teased me!" Rin protested.

              "I did not!"

              "Did too!"

              "Did not!"

              "You did! And you pulled my hair!'

              "Liar!"

              "I am not. I'm not lying!"

              "Yes, you are. You're a liar! Rin's a liar!" Aki taunted.

              "Sensei!"

              "Enough." Iruka cut into the argument, losing patience.

              "But he teased me!"

              "So that makes it all right for you to hit him?"

              "Well…no, but…"

              "Ha." Aki chuckled, pleased Rin was in trouble.

              "And you, Aki! You should know not to tease others."

              "But I didn't! She's making it up. Because she's a stupid girl!"

              "I'm not stupid!"

              "Enough, both of you. You're both wrong so you both have detention tomorrow after class."

              "What?" They were as one voice in their indignation. "That's not fair!"

              "It is."

              "Why?" Aki wasn't going to take this quietly.

              "Because I say so."

              "Why?"

              "Because I'm your teacher."

              "So? What're you going to do? Fail me?"

              Iruka held back a sigh. Aki seemed to be in a rebellious phase. Before he could think of a reply that would cut the tedious argument short, the kids freaked. Some of them gasped, others yelled, but they all jumped. Rin leapt back so far she was pressed against a desk and even Aki looked disturbed. Iruka frowned, confused. He hadn't done anything yet, so why… He looked down to his left and nearly jumped himself.

              Kakashi was kneeling beside him, staring into Aki's eyes. No wonder the class was so surprised; even he hadn't heard him arrive. "Kakashi-sensei?"

              "Yo." Kakashi waved, not looking away from Aki.

              "What are you doing here?"

              "Delivering a message."

              "A message?"

              "Yeah."

              There was a short silence. "Well?"

              "Hmm?"

              "The message?"

              "Oh yeah."

              Iruka made a face. Why was everyone today so difficult?

              "You're needed at the hospital."

              "Eh? Why?"

              "Well… Naruto, he…" Kakashi trailed off, apparently searching for words.

              Iruka's eyes widened. No! Naruto wasn't… Naruto couldn't be… Not Naruto! He'd kill that Jiraiya, no matter how famous he was he-

              "He's awake."

              "Wh-What? Awake?"

              "Mmm." Kakashi nodded. "Moving and everything."

              Iruka could have kissed him, no matter how much of a bastard he'd been with that 'hospital needs you' line. Instead he just stared, unabashedly delighted. Naruto was going to be all right!

              It was impossible to tell, his facemask and forehead protector covering all but his right eye made reading his feelings extremely difficult, but Kakashi might've smiled. Aki wasn't so amused. "Sensei…"

              "Yes?" Iruka replied, automatically focusing on the boy.

              "Does this mean you're leaving early?"

              Iruka froze. Leaving… He couldn't just walk out, not in the middle of class. He was responsible for these children, not Naruto. Leaving them to run wild simply because he didn't want to wait a couple hours to check on him would be unforgivably irresponsible. But, still…

              "Iruka-sensei." Kakashi's voice was quiet.

              "Yes?"

              "I could watch the class."

              "Eh?"

              "I am a teacher."

              "For gennin."

              Kakashi waved that off. "Minor difference. Watch." He coughed lightly. "Konohamaru!"

              "Geh!" Konohamaru, who had just opened a window, turned to them and tried to look innocent.

              "Need some air?" Kakashi's voice was deceptively mild.

              Konohamaru smiled. "Yeah! That's it! Air."

              "Then you won't mind sitting down now that the window's open."

              "Uhh…I still need air. Lots of it."

              "Really?"

              "Yep."

              "Sit at the end of the row and take deep breaths then." Kakashi said, using his authoritative tone.

              Konohamaru was sitting before he realized. "Hey! You aren't my teacher!"

              "And?"

              "I don't have to listen to you!"

              Kakashi held up a hand to hold off Iruka's counter. "Yes, actually, you do."

              "Why?"

              "Because I am a teacher."

              "You aren't my teacher."

              "That doesn't matter."

              "Why not?" Konohamaru was defiant. He blinked as Kakashi vanished. "Huh?"

              A hand came down on his shoulder, causing him to squawk in protest. Turning, he found Kakashi standing behind him. "Because I say so."

              Konohamaru bit his lip. Kakashi definitely wasn't smiling now. "Fine."

              Kakashi ruffled his hair. "Good kid." Then he turned to Iruka. "Well?"

              "Well what?"

              "Are you leaving or not?"

              "Eh? Well…" Iruka considered. "I suppose. As long as you're here." He gave in. He held out his textbook and Kakashi moved back beside him to take it. "We're here. It's just lecture today, no tests, so you should be all right."

              "Yep. I will. Now get going. Naruto was looking for you."

              Iruka looked pleased. "Really? Well, I better go then. Behave, children!"

              "Yes, sensei." The children dutifully replied, though they doubtlessly didn't mean it.

              And he was gone. Kakashi smiled after him as he walked out the door. He preferred windows himself, so much easier to surprise people. The conventional was so dull. He looked at the book and flipped a few pages. "Sayings, hmm? How dull." Iruka definitely needed to get our and have some fun. It couldn't be healthy sitting inside all day teaching a bunch of brats boring facts. He'd have to do something about it. Going to see Naruto was a start, and Sasuke had said that he'd been asking for Iruka earlier…

              "Sensei?"

              He looked up at the boy Iruka had been lecturing. "Yes?"

              "Can we go back to our seats yet?"

              "Sure." He shrugged. He looked around as the pair sat. Should've asked for a seating chart. "This is dull. Have you learned about chakra yet?"

              Most of them shook their heads. The others probably had tutors. Kakashi tossed the book onto the desk and moved to the chalkboard. "All right then, let's learn."

*            *            *

              Sasuke leaned against a wall, arms crossed, staring at the floor. He was not worried. Not about Naruto. Especially not about that idiot. So what if he'd nearly died, spending a whole week in a coma. He'd been…sick…himself, thanks to… He shook his head. No, he wouldn't think about that now.

              But why would his brother be after Naruto, ignoring him?

              No! He wasn't going to think about it. He would train more, harder, learn better. He wouldn't think of how easily he'd been brushed aside, how casually Itachi had dismissed him, how little he'd mattered. He most definitely wouldn't remember those illusions. Those memories. 

              "Uchiha-san?"

              He looked up, startled from his thoughts. "Eh?"

              A young nurse stood before him, holding a tiny paper cup. "The painkillers you asked for."

              "Pills?"

              "Yes. He should be able to take them, now that he's fully awake."

              "Oh. Thank you."

              She smiled sweetly, obviously charmed by him. Just like every other girl. She left, going to join a small gathering of other nurses, none even 30 years old. They were laughing and sneaking looks at him. Typical. So ordinary. So…

              How could everything be so normal? Itachi was back, he'd seen his parents die again and again, and even Kakashi-sensei had lost to him. And Naruto should have died.

              When he'd first woken, thankfully alone except for Kakashi, he'd gotten a quick recap of what had happened. Naruto and Jiraiya had found someone called Tsunade who had come to the village and healed sensei and him. Kakashi had recovered quickly, but he'd been laying in bed for a whole day and a half sleeping.  Sakura, and most of the female gennin, had been stopping by but the nurses kicked them our soon enough. Itachi was gone, vanished with that sidekick of his.

              Oh, he'd added, almost as an after thought, and Naruto's dying.

              He'd stared at his teacher, unable to comprehend. Naruto and dying didn't mix. Sure, he got himself in trouble all the time, but he also got himself out. Or someone else did. Kakashi must have been playing with him; he had a sick sense of humor sometimes. Kakashi had merely stood, heading out the door, telling him Naruto was in room 215 if he cared to visit.

              He had. It'd taken him about half an hour to force himself from the bed and to dress in the clothes that had been left on the room's chair. He'd gone to room 215 simply to check and see, he told himself, that Kakashi had been playing with him. Naruto had been laying on the hospital bed, unconscious, head bandaged with an IV hooked to his arm. The room was bare, not even a flower, and no one was there. Naruto lay alone, abandoned to live or die as he could. It wasn't the most disturbed thing Sasuke had ever seen, not even close, but it was…sad. It was somehow sad to see that someone so bright, so cheerful, so caring, could be so easily cast aside. Sasuke couldn't remember Naruto ever being ill, unless he was faking, and here he lay dying all alone. It wasn't right, it…

              Dammit, he wasn't worrying! He didn't have the time or the luxury to worry over that moron. He was an avenger; he had to concentrate on becoming stronger. He needed to train, not to sit in a room watching over a sleeping idiot, being accused of not even being real.

              _The real Sasuke would never be worried._

              He wasn't. He was just… He was… standing at Naruto's door again. He sighed. He wasn't worried. Naruto was just a teammate. A former teammate, now. They may not even both be Chuunin, Orochimaru's attack and Hokage-sama's death had thrown the village into chaos and no one had decided what gennin had graduated yet. No one even really knew who would decide, since the Kazekage had died as well. So, he wasn't worried. Naruto was awake and as phenomenally stupid as ever. So…Maybe if he said it enough he'd believe it.

              "Sasuke-kun!"

              Sasuke started as Iruka ran up the hall, waving to him. Would people be startling him all day? Bad form. At least Iruka called him –kun. Uchiha-san was, had been, his father. "Sensei?"

              "Are you here to see Naruto too?"

              Of course not. "No. Hinata just asked me to get these for him." He handed Iruka the pills then turned and left.

              Iruka stared at him. "Such an odd child…" He opened the door to Naruto's room and stepped inside. "Naruto!"

              Naruto was sitting on the bed, looking out the window. He turned as Iruka entered. "Iruka-sensei?"

              "Hello. Kakashi-sensei told me you were-"

              Naruto cut him off, grinning like an idiot and tackling him. "Sensei!"

              Iruka staggered. He'd forgotten to account for Naruto's exuberance. "N-Naruto!"

              Naruto pulled back as quickly as he'd attacked. "You really came! Sasuke said Kakashi-sensei had gone to get you but I don't believe that jerk. Hinata said Kakashi-sensei had been here too though."

              "He didn't say anything before he left?"

              "Nope. Never even saw him.

              How strange. Kakashi had been Naruto's teacher for months, had fought beside him, yet he didn't even care enough to say anything to him?

              "Sensei?"

              "Yes? Oh! I'm sorry, I was just thinking."

              "About what?"

              "Nothing important. It's just nice that you're awake again."

              "Of course I am! I'm going to be Hokage, I can't be beaten here!"

              Iruka stared at him. He didn't know. He'd almost died and he had no idea. He should have died. He hadn't seen him until hours after he'd returned, when he'd been cleaned up, medicated and put to bed. Even that had been almost more than he could handle. Naruto, so hyperactive, lying shivering on a bed covered in bandages, the visible skin far too pale, looking dead already as the doctor told him there was no possibility of a complete recovery. His vision had blurred and he'd nearly fainted on the spot. When he'd come back to himself he was sitting in a chair as a nurse offered him a drink. And that was after Tsunade and the doctors had seen to him, how bad must it have been before? He'd heard the nurses talking. They'd had to throw away his clothes because they were soaked in blood and grime. But here he was, saying that it was a minor thing, something he just had to overcome. He should be dead!

              "So why was she here, sensei?"

              Iruka blinked and reviewed what Naruto had been saying while he was thinking. During his years of teaching he'd learned to mentally file things others were saying even when he wasn't really listening. "Well… I'm not sure exactly why, she never told me and I didn't teach her, but I'm sure Hinata has her reasons."

              "She's so weird!"

              "And you're normal now?" He teased.

              "Sensei! That's mean… What's that?"

              He looked down at the pill cup he was still holding. "Ah! The painkillers Sasuke brought."

              "Sasuke?"

              "Mm-hmm."

              "He-Oh, so that's where he went."

              "You didn't send him?"

              "Nope. He just walked out."

              "He was visiting?"

              "Yeah. He was here when I woke up."

              Again? Odd, for Sasuke to be there both times Naruto awoke. "Was anyone else here?"

              "Hinata. She said Kakashi was here. Sasuke had gone to get some water or something."

              Sasuke was definitely acting strangely. "Where did Hinata go?"

              "I dunno. She ran out saying something about painkillers."

              Same as Sasuke. "Do you need some?"

              "Not really. I have a headache, but it isn't that bad."

              "A headache?"

              "Yep." He thought for a minute. "It's fading though."

              "Huh." Iruka stared at him. "That's all? You were…and all… a headache?"

              "That's strange?"

              Iruka shook his head. "No… yes…no, it's… nothing. Never mind. Are you really all right?"

              "Yeah. I'm fine."

              "Naruto…"

              "Yes?"

              "What are you doing out of bed?"

              "Eh?"  
              "You're still sick! Back to bed!"

              "But, but…"

              Iruka pushed him to bed and made him sit back against the pillows.

              "But, sensei, I'm fine. Really. I'm not tired at all."

              Iruka glared at him. "Stay there.

              "But, sensei-"

              The door to the room opened and a nurse entered, Hinata coming in behind her. "Hey! Who's making all this noise?"

              Iruka and Naruto pointed at each other. She frowned. "You, visitor, don't get the patient so upset. It's bad for him."

              "I'm sorry, I was just… visitor?"

              She turned to Naruto. "And you…"

              "Yes?"

              "Why aren't you under those covers? We don't need you relapsing on us."

              "But it's warm. I don't need them."

              Her eyes narrowed. "Really…"

              "But that's ok I'll use them anyway!" Naruto spoke quickly and buried himself under the covers. Hinata giggled as the nurse stalked over to the bed and straightened the covers, fussing. Naruto watched her; he looked vaguely scared. "Hey, hey…"

              "Yes?"

              "You were the one who tucked me in earlier, right? Don't overdo it this time, I couldn't even move."

              "I didn't tuck you in. I just got on-shift."

              "Then…"

              Iruka looked embarrassed. "Sorry. I guess I did overdo it."

              "Sensei, why did you do it?"

              "Well, you messed them up and I was stopping by on my way to class, and…"

              "You, girl!"

              Hinata jumped as the nurse spoke to her. "Y-yes?"

              "Bring me those pills."

              She nodded, walking over to the bed and handing a small packet to the nurse. The nurse took it and opened it, pouring the powder inside into a glass over water before handing it to Naruto. "Drink this."

              "But I don't need-"

              "Drink!"

              "Yes, ma'am!"

              As Naruto quickly drank the water, Iruka handed the pills Sasuke had given him to the nurse. "What should we do with these?"

              She frowned. "Where did you get those?"

              "Sasuke-kun got them."

              "Uchiha-kun? He was here?"

              "Yes?"

              "He was here." Naruto confirmed, finished. "He brought the water. Why?"

              "He's been hiding from us. We keep trying to get him in for a checkup but he slips awake. Was Hatake-san here as well?"

              "Hatake-san?" Naruto didn't recognize the name offhand.

              "Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka ventured.

              She nodded. "Hatake Kakashi-san."

              "He's been avoiding you as well?"

              She sniffed. "He set the example. Keeps sweet talking his way past the nurses."

              "Why do you need to see him anyway?" Naruto asked.

              "They were catatonic for days, we need to be sure they are recovering properly."

              "Why is it so hard to find them? They were both here earlier."

              "They never seem to be around when we check on you."

              "They use the transformation technique."

              They turned to Hinata, who had just spoken. "Pardon?" The nurse asked.

              "Umm…Well…When the nurses come, they use the transformation technique. So you don't see them."

              "Trans-" She shook her head. "Figures. Who started it?"

              "Kakashi-sensei, I think."

              The nurse muttered something they couldn't pick up. "Well, next time you see Hatake-san, tell him he better come in for a checkup before we go hunting for him. We know where he lives."

              "Yes ma'am!" The others replied at once.

              "Uzumaki-kun!"

              "Yes?" Naruto squeaked.

              "Are you feeling all right?"

              "Yeah. My head hurts a bit, but I'm OK."

              "No vision problems or confusion? No memory problems?"

              "Um…no?"

              "Do you remember where you were before you were hurt?"

              "With that pervert Jiraiya looking for Tsunade."

              "What about right before? What's the last thing you remember before waking here?"

              "I was…um…I was…I can't remember."

              "What can you remember?"

              "Just that we found Tsunade and she's a total…er… she's not very helpful."

              "I see."

              "Is that bad?"

              "It isn't a good sign, but it was to be expected." She reached out and took a hold of his chin, tipping his head back so she could look into his eyes. "You seem fine. You recognized your visitors?"

              "Of course!"

              She released him. "Very well. I'll let the doctor's examination wait until after visiting hours. Just be careful." She turned to Iruka. "I would like to talk to you outside for a minute."

              "Me? Well… All right." He stood up to follow her out, waving to Naruto. "I'll be right back."

              "Okay!"

              Hinata edged away from the door as the adults left. She looked to Naruto, blushed, and then stared at the floor. Naruto watched her. "Hinata?"

              "Yes?"

              "Why are you here?"

              "Eh? Well…um…I was worried…"

              "Hinata, you know, you're kind of weird sometimes."

              "S-Sorry…"

              "You need to be more assertive! Say what you think! No one will take you seriously if you don't speak up for yourself!"

              She was silent for a long time then suddenly spoke in a quiet tone. "I…I was worried. Because…you were really hurt and…I…I…" She bit her lip, trembling. "I…I…Because I like you!"

              He stared at her, either trying to interpret her near-mumbling speech or because he couldn't connect the ideas of people 'liking' someone and that someone being him. After a minute he compensated. "Of course. You're a nice girl, you like everyone. Of course you'd be worried." He laughed. "I should've known."

              "No!"

              He looked startled by her outburst. "Hinata?"

              "It's not just…I mean…it isn't…I…" What? 'I really like you?' 'I like, like you?' 'I wish you would…' what? Should she say? This was too hard!

              He looked confused again. "What?"

              "I…I…I…" Just spit it out! Say anything. "I really like you!"

              "Huh?"

              She should have read some romance novels. This sort of thing seemed to come naturally in those. "I meant…I really like you. I…"

              Naruto didn't say anything for a while. "Hinata, you…" His eyes glazed as he tried to think. "You…" Something seemed to click in him again. "Oh! Like, friends, right? Because of the Chuunin exam?"

              No. Why couldn't he understand? Well…if he couldn't understand her words, then maybe…

              Before she could think it through she rushed forward and hugged him. She half-lay, half-sat on the edge of the bed, arms locked tightly around his neck from a mixture of nervousness and determination to demonstrate her feelings. Naruto was stiff and unresponsive, not even making a noise. She held him for several minutes as she began to wish she could just die right there and not have to deal with this. "Naruto-kun?"

              He twitched. She took that as an invitation to continue.

              "I mean…I really, really like you…"

              He exhaled noisily and somehow tensed even more.

              "I always have. I mean…I…"

              "Why?"

              She started. He'd finally spoken! His voice was strangely dark, but did it mean she was getting through to him? "I…I'm not sure, but…you've always been so confident. Everyone was so cold but you're still strong and…and…"

              "Don't..."

              "Huh?"

              "You don't…at all…"

              "What?"

              He suddenly came back to life, shoving her away. "You don't understand!"

              Her training kicked in and she twisted her body to absorb the impact as she fell from the bed, rolling slightly. She looked back at Naruto who was hunched over, one hand braced against the bed to hold him up, the other clenched in a fist. She couldn't see his face.

              "Naruto…kun…?"

              "You don't understand me at all! You say you like me but you don't even know me." He looked up, clearly angry. "You aren't the kind…don't say things like that if you don't mean it! You're just like everyone else, you don't really see me! How can you like me when you only see what you want to be?" He collapsed to the bed, boneless, staring at the ceiling. "You…you don't know anything."

              She stared at him with wide eyes for a few minutes before she slowly stood. She tried to speak but couldn't find any words. Naruto lay silently on the bed as she gave up and fled, past the startled adults outside, out of the hospital itself. She ran through the streets, crying.

              She ran blindly, too horrified to think clearly. She wasn't aware of where or how long she ran, all she could see were her father and Naruto's angry faces.

              _You don't understand at all. How could you?_

_              How can you claim to be a gennin? Are Hidden Leaf ninjas so weak?_

_              You only see what you want to be! You don't really see me!_

Naruto was right. She was useless, utterly hopeless. She was so blinded by her own desire to be stronger she only saw Naruto as someone to look up to and emulate. He stood up to the whole village and she couldn't even stand up to her own family. He was strong enough to be Sasuke's rival and had even gone on a mission outside the village while she was struggling not to hold Kiba and Shino back and to live up to Kurenai-sensei's expectations. She'd heard he had beaten former Anbu from Hidden Mist village. She couldn't even beat her younger sister.

              She was running and berating herself when she ran into someone. They spoke to her and held onto her arm, pulling her off the street. She was barely aware of them for several minutes until something started licking her face. The heated breath and damp tongue startled her from her self-pity. "A-Akamaru?"

              She looked around, noticing she was sitting in a booth in what appeared to be a restaurant. Akamaru was standing on the table, paws on her shoulders, tongue lolling from his mouth. She petted him, trying to figure out what had happened and where Kiba had gone.

              "Feeling a bit better?"

              She jumped as Kiba returned, carrying two steaming cups. "K-Kiba-kun?"

              He sat and put one of the cups in front of her, shooing Akamaru out of the way. "Tea."

              "Ah, thank you." She sipped her teas as Akamaru settled in her lap and Kiba settled into the seat across from her. "Um…"

              "Don't worry 'bout it. I know the owner."

              "Oh…well…"

              "What happened? Weren't you visiting Naruto?"

              "Mmmm. I was…"

              "Well?"

              "Well…um…I…" She sighed. "I'm an idiot."

              "Eh?"

              "He woke up and I…I was trying to…and then he…"

              Kiba stared at her as she trailed off. "He what?"

              "I'm sorry. I just…I was…I…"

              "You?"

              She spoke in a sudden rush. "I tried to tell him I like him, but I screwed it up and he got mad and now he hates me and it's all my fault."

              He blinked, trying to process that. "Uhh…Okay?"

              She drank some more tea as he thought.

              "So…you need me to beat him up?"

              "What?"

              "Naruto was the one that made you cry, right?"

              "Yes?"

              "So I should beat him up."

              "No!"

              "But he made you cry?"

              "But…But it was my fault!"

              "It was your fault he made you cry?"

              "Yes."

              "You told him you like him, right?" He waited for her nod. "And then he yelled at you and made you cry?"

              "Well…Yes…But…"

              "So, I got to go beat him up." Kiba replied, convinced by his own logic.

              "What? No! No, that won't help."

              "But he made you cry! We can't let him get away with that. Right, Akamaru?"

              Akamaru barked.

              "Why?"

              "You're my teammate. Someone bothers your teammate, you beat them up or hold 'em so they can beat them. Simple as that."

              "But that won't solve anything!"

              "Sure it will. He'll be too scared to try it again."

              "I don't want him to be scared of me!"

              "Oh…that makes it harder. Maybe if we just hit him a little?"

              "We aren't going to hit him at all!"

              "That's no fun."

              "Kiba-kun!"

              "All right, all right. So we can't hit him. What are we going to do then?"

              "Well…um…"

              "What are you two doing here?" A voice interrupted them. "Hinata, weren't you watching Naruto?"

              They jumped and looked up. Kurenai was standing over them, Shino at her side. "Kurenai-sensei?"

              "Did Naruto wake up? What happened?"

              Hinata sniffled, tears welling up in her eyes again. "Kurenai-sensei…"

              Kiba looked annoyed. "I just got her calmed down too."

              Kurenai looked at him curiously as she sat beside Hinata. "Tell me what happened."  
              "Naruto-kun woke up and we were talking and I said I like him and he got mad and it's all my fault and now he hates me!" She took a breath then began to cry again.

              Kurenai wrapped an arm around her, lifting Akamaru from her lap and setting him on the table. "Kiba, Shino, I'm going to postpone our meeting."

              They nodded. She stood, pulling Hinata up with her. "We're going back to my house. If you need anything, stop by."

              They nodded again. Kurenai and Hinata started to leave but Hinata hesitated. "Kiba-kun…"

              "Yeah?"

              "Please, don't hurt him. It wasn't Naruto-kun's fault, so…please…"

              "Heh, fine. It'd be too easy anyway."

              "Thank you and…I'm sorry."

              "You're our teammate." Shino spoke suddenly. "Of course we worry."

              "Who's worrying?" Kiba looked annoyed.

              Hinata smiled faintly, no longer crying. "Thank you."

              "Hinata…"

              "Yes, sensei! I'm coming!"

              Kiba watched her run out after Kurenai, obviously still upset but not as badly as before. "I still wanna hit him."

              "She'll get mad." Shino warned him, sitting in the seat Kurenai had vacated.

              "I know, I know. How annoying."

              "Girls usually are."

              They sat silently for a minute as Kiba glared at the far wall, Akamaru moving to sit on his head. "Ne, Shino…"

              "Hmm?"

              "Why does she like that idiot, anyway? He's loud and stupid and weak."

              "He beat you."

              "That was luck! Luck!"

              "Who knows why girls like anyone? Most of them like Uchiha."

              "Idiots. He's even worse."

              Shino said nothing.

              Kiba stood. "I'm going to the park."

              Shino shrugged.

              "Well, later then!" With a wave, Kiba left.

              Shino sat silently at the table for a while then stood as well. "This…could be troublesome."

To be continued

Authors notes: Yes, yes, I know that fangirl Japanese is evil, but I think it's acceptable here. I think that it's really only a major problem if you have the characters mixing up their languages in their sentences, like 'Gomen, I'll fix that later'. What is the proper translation for kunai anyway? It isn't really a throwing knife, since they also use it for fighting. Or do I just need to check up on my weaponry? Also, I kept Gennin, Chuunin and Jounin because Chuunin doesn't really translate well. If it's too distracting I can think of something and fix it. I kept the suffixes, ex  -sensei, because…well… it seems very strange to write fanfic for Japanese series without the suffixes. I know some people can't even handle that but, well, if you're that picky my grammar will probably scare you off first. Any comments and criticism will be greatly appreciated, particularly for the little details, such as what everyone calls everyone else. Sometimes I miss things like that. Does Iruka ever actually directly address Sasuke in the series? I can't remember. And yes, this thing is going to be long. This is about a third of what I have written out and there's no sign of it ending any time soon. -_- Yay for me.


	2. Day 1: Part 2

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine and, alas, never will be.

Rating: PG-13 

Warnings: Language, violence, all the usual suspects.

Strange Rooms: Day 1 pt 2

              "Naruto?"

              Naruto didn't respond. He was lying curled up on his bed, gripping the blanket, with his back to the door.

              "Naruto?" Iruka repeated, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Naruto, are you all right?"

              "She didn't understand. No one does. They don't get me at all."

              "Naruto…"

              Naruto stiffened as Iruka put a hand on his shoulder. Neither of them moved nor spoke until, slowly, Naruto relaxed. "Sensei?"

              "Yes?"

              "I shouldn't have yelled at her. She was wrong but…I shouldn't have yelled."

              "What did she say?"

              "You didn't hear?"

              "No. That nurse was busy warning me about everything I should watch for."

              "Where?"

              Iruka chuckled. "In you, silly."

              "Eh? Why?"

              "You're still sick, you know."

              "Nah, I'm fine. I never get sick. For long. A good night's sleep heals everything."

              "Really?"

              "Yeah."

              "Naruto, you were unconscious for an entire week."

              "Huh?" Naruto uncoiled, looking over his shoulder. "Really?"

              "Really. A week, since Jiraiya and Tsunade brought you back."

              "But…That's…"

              "You nearly died. You should have died. The doctor said you would. The nurse can't believe you're better already. You're the wonder of the hospital."

              Naruto flopped back down onto the bed. "Great. I'm a freak in a new way now."

              Iruka frowned. "Don't say that! You're alive, that's what matters. Who cares what they say, you're still here!"

              "Sensei…"

              "Are you going to let them tell you what to think about yourself? Are you going to listen to them?"

              "Of course not!"

              "Then don't talk like that."

              "But, you said, that I should be-"

              "People recover when they shouldn't all the time. It's part of the medical profession."

              "But…" Naruto trailed off, then frowned. "Hey, what happened to the pervert anyway? I haven't seen him here and no one's said where he is." He looked over his shoulder as he heard movement and saw Iruka settling on the bed, back against the pillows.

              "What're you doing?"

              "Getting comfortable."

              "On my bed?"

              "Hospital chairs aren't comfortable at all."

              Naruto wasn't pleased, but he let it slide. "So?"

              "So?"

              "The pervert! Where'd he go?"

              "Pervert?"

              "Jiraiya."

              "You call Jiraiya-sama a pervert?"

              "Yeah. He is one. Why?"

              "Well…that's…I mean… Don't you know who he is?"

              "'Course I know!"

              "Then…"

              "He's a pervert so I call him on it. How's that so bad?"

              "It isn't normal. Jiraiya-sama is one of the three ninjas, you should show respect."

              "Three ninjas. Bah. He's just an old pervert, Orochimaru is a snake-freak, and Tsunade's a witch."

              "Naruto!" Iruka hit him on the shoulder. "You're a ninja, behave like one!"

              "Ow! Hey!" Naruto scrambled up on his hands and knees, glaring at Iruka. "You aren't supposed to his sick people!"

              "You said you were better."

              "That doesn't mean you can hit me!"

              "I can if you don't behave!"

              "Who made that rule up? I bet that nurse said something different!"

              Iruka froze. Before Naruto could speak he put a hand over his mouth. "I forgot about her. Shh! If she hears you yelling she come back and she'll be mad!"

              Naruto looked like rebelling, as if he'd yell just to anger her.

              "She said she'd kick me out if I upset you. And keep all your visitors away."

              He didn't look nearly so pleased at that prospect.

              "So just keep it down. You don't have to be so loud anyway, I'm right here."

              Naruto looked vaguely annoyed at that. Then he yawned.

              "Agh! Naruto!" Iruka pulled his hand away, angry again. "That's disgusting!"

              Naruto laughed at him. "'S not my fault. You put your hand over my mouth."

              "Still…"

              Naruto blinked sleepily at him. "Ahh, I'm getting tired again. I just got up!"

              "Well, you are still sick."

              "So now you admit it!"

              "You should probably take a nap. Konohamaru-kun will be by after class."

              "After class? Isn't school out already?"

              "Of course not. It's barely noon."

              "Then why are you here?"

              "Huh?"

              "Shouldn't you be teaching?"

              "Yes…well…you see…When Kakashi told me you were awake he said he'd watch my class, so…"

              Naruto couldn't believe it. "You left Kakashi-sensei in charge of your class?"

              "Yes. It's only one afternoon, he can't be that bad."

              "I dunno… Kakashi-sensei's kind of…"

              "Hey, hey, don't you trust your own teacher?"  
              "No way." Naruto replied quickly and matter-of-factly. "He's always late and lectures and he hasn't taught me anything new and he makes fun of us and he reads porn all the time."

              "Kakashi-sensei reads porn?"

              "All the time. That Come, Come or Make-out Paradise or whatever it's called. That stuff that pervert Jiraiya writes."

              You could practically see Iruka's illusions crumbling. "Jiraiya-sama writes porn?"

              "Yeah. He says that's why he's always peeping on the women's baths."

              Iruka got angry at that. "Naruto!"

               "He does!" Naruto replied defensively.

              "How do you know?"

              "That's how I met him?"

              "By peeping on the women's bath?"

              "No! I was in the men's bath! Training!"

              That sidetracked him. "Why did he start training you, anyway?"

              "I made him. He knocked out the closet pervert so I needed a replacement."

              "The closet pervert?"

              "Yeah. That Ebisu guy."

              Iruka was overwhelmed. "Is everyone a pervert?"

              Naruto grinned. "All the Jounin seem to be."  
              "Don't look so happy about it!"

              "Why not? It's funny. Plus, it makes my Sexy technique unbeatable."

              "That stupid technique…"

              "You fell for it." Naruto reminded him, and then laughed. "Wahh! Iruka-sensei's a perv!"

              Iruka grabbed him before he could get away, pulling him back in a headlock. With his free hand he pinned both of Naruto's wrists, holding him despite his efforts to get free. "Better apologize, Naruto! It's not a good idea to talk bad about your teachers."

              "Wahh, you can't bully me! I'm going to be a Chuunin, like you are!"

              Iruka tensed, reminded of the disastrous end to Chuunin exam, and nearly gave Naruto a chance to break free. He tightened his grip. "You aren't yet, so don't get cocky."

              Naruto began to speak, probably a very naughty pun on Iruka's choice of words to try and shock him into letting him free, when the door slammed open and the nurse returned. She glared at them, causing Iruka to release Naruto and hold his hands out, trying to seem harmless. Naruto simply froze.

              "Iruka-sensei..." The nurse spoke in a low, dangerous voice.

              "Y-Yes?"

              "What do you think you're doing? Didn't I tell you that this patient needs rest?"

              "Eheheh. Sorry."

              "And you, Uzumaki-kun!"

              "Geh! What'd I do?"

              "You should be sleeping, not engaging in wrestling matches with others."

              "Yes, ma'am!" Iruka and Naruto spoke at the same time.

              "Are you going to behave now or do I have to keep Uzumaki-kun's visitors away?"

              "I'll behave, I'll behave." Iruka protested, waving his arms to ward off the possibility.

              Naruto nodded in agreement, slouching against Iruka's leg.

              "Very well. I'll let him stay…for now." With that warning she left, closing the door behind her.

              Iruka sighed. "Whew. Scary. What is she doing as a nurse?" He froze, realizing what he was saying. "Naruto, you're a bad influence."

              No response.

              "Naruto?" Iruka looked down at the boy. Somehow, during the brief tussle and conversation, Naruto had ended up half-laying in his lap, head resting on his stomach. "Are you all right?"

              Naruto snored.

              Iruka twitched. He was sleeping! Naruto had gone and fallen asleep on him! He shook him lightly. "Naruto, wake up!"

              Naruto groaned, squirming to a more comfortable position. He ended up on his side, his head on Iruka's thigh, facing his stomach. One arm pillowed his head and the other rested on Iruka's lap. Iruka sighed, pushing at Naruto's shoulder once more. "Hey, get up." He sounded annoyed. "Couldn't wait for me to leave, huh?"

              He adjusted the pillows, trying to get comfortable. He was still sitting back against the headboard and it seemed he wouldn't be leaving for a while. He looked out the window. "Kai's right, I am getting soft. He'd better not be doing anything to my class, though."

*            *            *

              "Konohamaru-cha~n!"

              "Hold on Moegi, you can do it!"

              Moegi stood in front of the blackboard, shivering. A tangerine sat on her head.  Kakashi sat on a front row desk with his forehead protector pulled down over both his eyes. He lazily tossed a kunai in one hand. All the students were watching him intently and the silence was taut. Without warning Kakashi flipped the kunai a final time, gripping the hilt and throwing it in one smooth motion. The kunai flew through the air and buried itself in the fruit with a wet, squishy noise. The class stared silently as Kakashi uncovered his right eye and nodded. "Not bad."

              Moegi reached up gingerly, pulling the tangerine off her head. The kunai had pierced it through the center. The class exploded, cheering and calling out suggestions.

              "Do it again!"

              "Use something smaller!"

              "Two kunai!"

              "No, three!"

              "Use a plum!"

              Kakashi stood, moving back to the teacher's desk. "That enough, I think. Thanks, Moegi."

              She sniffled and ran back to her seat. "Konohamaru-chan! It was so scary!"

              Konohamaru patted her head, trying to calm her. "Hey, it's all right now. You did good."

              Kakashi sighed. Kids. "All right everyone, settle down."

              "C'mon sensei! Just one more!" Aki called encouragingly.

              "Are you volunteering?"

              "Sure!"

              He sighed. "All right. But this is the last time. Stand up. Anyone have any more fruit they don't need?"

              "I have an orange!" A boy whose name Kakashi couldn't remember offered.

              "Good. Toss it to him." He leaned back, arms at his side.

              The boy tossed the fruit rather poorly, and Aki jumped to catch it. He landed and put a hand on his desk to steady himself before looking over the edge at the substitute. "Should I put it on my head or what?"

              "That's fine."

              "Really?" Aki blinked as Kakashi, moving too fast for him to really see, threw a pair of shuriken. As he turned back to gape at the wounded fruit several more shuriken hit his desk between his splayed fingers. Everyone stared, stunned, as Kakashi picked up Iruka's handbook from the desk. "Well… The day's almost over so we should probably actually do what we were told to."

              Aki pulled his hand back and tugged the shuriken from the table. He sat, still silent, and set them by the orange. "That…that was so cool! Do it again!"

              Kakashi groaned as the class echoed the boy. Little kids were such brats.

              "Tell us stories about leader!" Moegi called out.

              Kakashi blinked. Leader? Hokage-sama?

              "Yeah!" Konohamaru backed her up. "Tell us stuff about Naruto-niichan!"

              Oh. Naruto. Well… It was his fault Kakashi was stuck here babysitting the brats. And children were so easily entertained with embarrassing stories. "Very well. Stories about my genin then."

              "Tell us the embarrassing stuff!"

              "Konohamaru-chan!"

              Kakashi chuckled, suddenly in a very good mood. Nothing could lighten his day like messing with the genin. "Very well. The embarrassing stuff then." He pretended to think about what story he'd tell first. "Hmm…no, I can't tell you that. Or…no, not that either. You'll freak."

              "Tell us! Tell us!" The others were getting into the act now.

              "You sure?"

              "Yeah!"

              "Tell us!"

              All right then. "Let's see, it must've been a month after I started teaching them when…"

*            *            *

              Sasuke stood over Naruto's bed, frowning. Naruto was asleep and, while that was hardly different from the rest of the week, the situation was. He lay sprawled across Iruka-sensei and held onto his old teacher's shirt with one hand. Iruka had gone to sleep as well, resting with one hand lightly tangled in Naruto's hair and the other on his hip.

              How annoying. He'd come to check on Naruto since it was too early for classes to be over and he'd seen Hinata out with her teacher. But here Iruka was. Skipping out on class? Wait, he was the teacher; he'd probably just dismissed them. He turned away, shaking his head. It was for the best, really. If someone else were here he wouldn't have to worry about the idiot. Not that he was worried! He just knew how distressing it was to wake up alone in a strange room. That's all. Plus, this was a good place to hide from the girls. They never seemed to think he might be visiting Naruto. Sakura had seen him, of course, but she'd been strangely sobered by Naruto's condition and hadn't said much. The last time he'd seen her she'd been staring at some flowers as Ino hovered over her, trying to pick a fight. But now he'd have to deal with them again. He couldn't stay here; it would be like worrying over the idiot, which he was most definitely not. So…

              After a moments hesitation he walked to the door and, without looking over his shoulder, left.

*            *            *

              "I~ru~ka~se~n~sei!"

              Iruka made a face, trying to wish the intruding, sing-songing voice away. He was sleeping!

              "Sensei~!"

              "G'way."

              The voice chuckled. "Sleepy?"

              "Yes!"

              "Now, now, you're too old for naps."

              He was not waking up. Not for this rude person who interrupted his rest. The bed was far too comfortable and the person on his lap was very warm. The feel of their breath on his hip was actually quite pleasant as well. Wait… The person on his lap?

              He opened his eyes, despite his earlier resolve, and started. "K-Kakashi-sensei!"

              Kakashi looked amused, pulling back to put some distance between them. "Had a good rest?"

              "I did." He couldn't keep the irritation from his voice.

              "Good."

              He must be trying. No one could be so irritating by accident. "What time is it?"

              "Classes have been over for awhile." Kakashi gestured to the window. "About five, I'd say."

              "Five!" Iruka looked out the window. Kakashi wasn't lying. "Why so late?"

              "Your kids are brats."

              Iruka bristled. "Pardon me?"

              "You spoil them. Took me hours to sneak away. They kept demanding stories."

              "You told them stories?" Iruka was incredulous, trying to picture that. Hatake Kakashi, the sedate, slightly sadistic, possible-future-Hokage, sitting surrounded by the kids, telling them stories. Daddy Kakashi… He snickered.

              "What's so funny?"

              Iruka watched him, still laughing. He looked rather intimidating with only one eye visible and his fierce reputation. _'Once upon a time a beautiful princess…'_

Kakashi stared at Iruka as he laughed hysterically, nearly doubling over. Not an easy feat with someone in his lap. "What?"

              "Just…" Iruka tried to contain his laughter enough to speak clearly. "You…telling stories…"

              "What's so odd about that?"

              "I can't…believe you know…something like the Three Ninjas and the Blossom Princess."

              "Know what?"

              "Fairy tales."

              "Fairy tales?" He tried to remember. "Don't know any."

              That stopped Iruka cold. "Wait…What were you telling them then?"

              "Oh…this and that…" Kakashi looked at him and frowned. Iruka looked horrified. "Naruto's been spreading stories, hasn't he?"

              "Well…Yes." Iruka admitted.

              "Hmm… I'll punish him later."

              "Don't sound so happy about it." Iruka muttered, trying to move. "Ngh, forgot about him."

              Naruto was now firmly occupying his lap. He shook his shoulder firmly. If he couldn't sleep Naruto couldn't either. "Hey, wake up."

              Naruto grumbled, clinging tighter. Iruka kept shaking. "That isn't going to work this time. Up!"

              "No way."

              "If you can talk you can sit. Up!"

              A few more minutes of shaking and commands, with no help from Kakashi, preceded Naruto actually sitting up and blinking sleepily. He looked around. "Where am I?"

              "The hospital."

              "Really? Why?"

              His teachers stared. 

              "What? Oh yeah! I got hurt, didn't I?"

              Kakashi shook his head and spoke quietly. "Moron."

              Iruka sighed. "Naruto…"

              Naruto grinned at Iruka, not hearing Kakashi. "Hey, sensei!"

              "What?" Iruka and Kakashi responded at the same time, making Naruto laugh.

              "Iruka-sensei." He clarified.

              "What do you want, Naruto?"

              "What're you doing in my bed?"

              Iruka froze. "Pardon?"

              "Why were you sleeping with me?"

              Kakashi started laughing silently as Iruka stared at Naruto, trying to think of a good response. "Well…uh…I just…"

              "Ah! I knew it, Iruka-sensei's a pervert!"

              "Naruto! You're the one who fell asleep on me!"

              "Wahh, Iruka-sensei's a perv!" Naruto jumped off the bed and smirked. "A boy-loving pervert!"

              "Oh?" Kakashi turned to Iruka. "Something you want to share?"

              Iruka blushed. "No! Naruto's just…" He stood, straightening his clothes. "It was accidental."

              "Why were you in his bed, anyway?"

              "I was just sitting! He's the one who fell asleep in my lap."

              Naruto smirked, obviously pleased to have riled his teachers. "So you say."

              "Naruto, you-!"

              "Hey, hey, Kakashi-sensei."

              "Hmm?"

              "Why're you here? Shouldn't you be teaching Iruka-sensei's class?"

              "Classes are over, you know."

              "Eh?" Naruto stared out the window. "Oh! So why're you back here then?"

              "Came to pick something up."

              "What?"

              He held up a book. "Left it on my chair."

              "How careless, leaving your porn behind."

              "Heh." Kakashi sounded more amused than offended. "I guess it was."

              Iruka looked at the book. "Kakashi-sensei…"

              "Hmm?"  
              "What stories were you telling my class?"

              "This and that…" Kakashi hedged.

              "What this and that?"

              "Well…" Kakashi looked to Naruto, who was watching them, frankly curious. "I can't tell you. You'd freak."

              "Wh-What?" Iruka gaped as Naruto laughed again. 

              "Don't worry. It wasn't anything bad, really. It seemed better than throwing more kunai at them."

              Iruka looked ready to faint. "You threw kunai at them?"

              He shrugged. "Yes?"

              "Oh god!"

              "Hey, hey, Kakashi-sensei, don't you think that's a bit extreme?"

              "They thought it was fun."

              Iruka sat heavily on the edge of the bed. "Please tell me you at least taught them something."

              "Of course. But they thought it was dull."

              "So you threw kunai at them." Iruka spoke sarcastically.

              "And read them porn!"

              "Hey, Naruto, don't spread stories."

              "Hee, hee! I warned Iruka-sensei you'd mess it up!"

              "Hey!"

              "Am I going to get a horde of angry parents in my office tomorrow?"  
              Kakashi leaned back in his chair, looking annoyed. "No one trusts me." He mourned.

              Naruto flopped on the bed, laying on his stomach. "So, what did you tell them?"

              "If I tell you, you'll freak."

              "Hmph, how can we trust you if you won't even tell us what you were telling Iruka-sensei's class?"

              "Trust means I don't have to tell you, stupid."

              The ensuing argument, one sided as it may have been, was cut off as the door opened and Konohamaru entered with his friends. "Naruto-niichan…"

              "Konohamaru? What are you doing here?"

              They ran up to him then hesitated, looking unhappy. Konohamaru spoke first. "Did Sasuke really have to save you from the Hidden Mist ninjas?"

              "And the waterfall." Moegi added.

              "And the cockatiel?" Udon chimed in.

              Naruto stared at them then glared at Kakashi. "You…!"

              "Told you you'd freak."

*            *            *

              "Must you always be so…?" Iruka trailed off, looking determinedly at the back wall of the Ichiraku Ramen and not at the man sitting to his left.

              "Hmm?" Kakashi looked away from the menu. "So…?"

              Iruka's mother had always told him not to speak badly of Jounin. It was bad manners and they could kill you. And they heard everything, eventually. "Nothing."

              "Ho? I can't remember having been nothing before."

              Iruka blushed slightly. "For…never mind. What'll you have?"

              'Hmm…" Kakashi looked over the menu again. "Not sure."

              Iruka gave him another minute before waving the owner over. "I'll have my usual."

              Kakashi shrugged. "I'll have his usual too."

              With a nod the owner was off. Kakashi turned to Iruka. "I hope you don't have strange tastes."

              "I don't…probably…"

              "You come here often?"

              He looked embarrassed. "Yeah. Naruto likes to eat here and it isn't too expensive. Where do you usually eat?"

              "Here and there. I prefer cooking."

              "You cook?"

              Kakashi looked sideways at him. "That's a surprise?"

              Iruka laughed. "Kind of. You don't seem like the cooking type."

              Kakashi shook his head. "I don't see why it's so odd. People accept that Gai bakes, why can't I cook?"

              "You're just jealous!" A booming voice called from behind them. Iruka turned to see a man, presumably Gai, standing behind them with three genin behind him.

              "Gai-sensei…" The first began. Iruka recognized him as Neji, Naruto's opponent in the Chuunin exam.

              "Bakes?" The girl finished.

              "That's so cool, Gai-sensei!" The third, a bandaged boy with crutches, was excited. A direct contrast to his companions.

              "Isn't it though, Lee-kun?" Gai turned, sweeping his hair back with one hand and smiling broadly. "When you return home I shall teach you to make the ultimate batch of sugar cookies!"

              "Yes!"

              "Guaranteed to win you the heart of any woman!"

              "Yeah!"

              The first two genin shook their heads, resigned to their teacher's personality. Kakashi nudged Iruka's shoulder lightly. "Hey, Iruka…" Iruka didn't respond. "Iruka?"

              Iruka was staring at Gai, who was ranting about the wonders of fresh baked cookies and cakes. It was…captivating. Like an accident. Kakashi sighed and turned. "Gai? Sorry, sorry, didn't see you back there. Something wrong?"

              Gai turned back to them and glared at Kakashi. "Ah! Very cool, Kakashi. However! I know that, deep inside, you are burning with jealousy over my cookies. My rich, moist cakes, my ever-so-slightly crispy-"

              "Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi interrupted.

              "Ah! Yes?" Iruka finally responded, looking a bit dazed.

              "Your ramen's getting cold."

              "Eh? Eh! When did that get here?"

              "A minute ago, while you were distracted."

              "Sorry." Iruka began to eat, keeping half an eye on Gai and his students.

              "Kakashi!" Gai protested.

              "Sorry, were you talking to me?"

              Neji, Tenten and Lee backed away as the two Jounin stared at each other. It was shaping up to be yet another match in their eternal rivalry when Kakashi looked to Lee. "Shouldn't you be returning him?"

              "What?"

              "To the hospital." Kakashi's voice was patient, like he was talking to a child. "He's still not checked out, has he?"

              "No. But I have taken him out for dinner and-"

              "Visiting hours are over."

              Gai hesitated. "They are?"

              Kakashi shook his head and leaned back on his stool. "You still need to learn to keep an eye on the time."

              "You're in no position to talk about being on time!" Gai protested.

              Kakashi ignored him. "Visiting hours have been over for a while now."

              Gai looked to Iruka, who nodded. "How do you know?"

              "We were visiting."

              "Who?"

              "Uchiha is still in the hospital, correct?" Neji asked.

              "Nope. Got out just after I did."

              "Who then?"

              Kakashi shrugged. "Naruto, of course."

              Neji frowned. "Naruto's in the hospital?"

              "Yeah. Tsunade-sama brought him in, all beat up. He just woke up today."

              "He's been there a whole week?"

              "About."

              Lee spoke. "I haven't seen or heard about him at all."

              "They probably weren't saying anything, at least, where you'd hear it. After all, they didn't expect him to live."

              That surprised them all. Gai, looking for a less uncomfortable topic, looking at Iruka. "And who's your companion?"

              "This is Iruka-sensei. Naruto's old teacher."

              Iruka finished his bite of ramen and set his chopsticks down. "Nice to meet you."

              "Why are you out eating together?" Gai was suspicious.

              "We were hungry, of course." Kakashi responded. "Shouldn't you be getting back? Since you'll have to walk."

              Gai glanced back at Lee then nodded. "Very well, we shall be off. But beware, Kakashi! For, next time, I shall-"

              "Yes, yes. You better go before the nurses come and hunt you down."

              "Is…" Gai asked hesitantly. "Is that nurse on duty?"

              "That nurse?"

              "You mean nurse Irukawa?" Iruka asked when Kakashi didn't catch the reference.

              Gai nodded. "Unless they have another she-dragon terrorizing the guests."

              "That sounds like her. I don't think there's any other. She was on earlier, she came in to yell at us when I was visiting Naruto."

              Gai considered then nodded. "We're leaving. Now."

              Iruka and Kakashi watched as he and the genin left. Iruka coughed. "That was…interesting."

              "Gai usually is."

              "How do you know him?" Iruka couldn't imagine a more differing pair.

              "Mmm… He's kind of a rival, I suppose. Likes to challenge me."

              "Eh?" Iruka looked outside, though Gai was gone. "He's that strong?"

              Kakashi eyed him. "I suppose…"

              "What happened to that genin, Lee?"

              "He was hurt in the Chuunin exam."

              "Really? That badly? I don't remember seeing him."

              "It was in the prelim for the third test."

              "Oh."

              Kakashi raised a hand. "Another serving, please."

              Iruka looked. Sure enough, Kakashi's bowl was empty. Surprising, since he'd spent much of the time facing and talking to Gai. Iruka wasn't even half done. "I must've been more out of it than I thought."

              "Hmm?"

              "If you're done already."

              "No, no." Kakashi waved it off. "I just eat a bit quickly."

              "I see."

              "This is pretty good, actually. I don't eat ramen often, but it's nice."

              "Yeah. I've been eating here for a few years."

              "Naruto seems to like it too. And if he knows about anything, it'd be ramen."

              Iruka laughed. "That's true. He's trying to eat his way through the menu."

              "You come here often?"

              "Seems like it. After all, it's the only way we really see each other now." He spoke sadly. "I'm busy with my class and he's usually training. Though it's easy to get him out with the promise of ramen."

              "He trains that often?"

              "You didn't know? He trains all the time. Rarely does anything else."

              "Not a bad habit for a ninja. It explains why he's improved so much." He sighed. "I wish Sakura would practice more."

              "She's young, I'm sure she'll do well in the future. She's got the basic skills down, she just needs some determination. Besides, Sasuke and Naruto have more reason than most to be strong."

              "I suppose."  
              "Have you always been so serious?"

              "About?"

              "Being a ninja."

              "Of course. It's my job."

              "But work should be fun."

              "What about you? Are you planning to be a Jounin?"

              "No. I'm happy where I am. I like teaching at the school."

              'You don't want to teach genin?"

              "Not really. It isn't the same. I like having so many people in my class, it makes it interesting. And I get to stay with them longer."

              "Sorry to keep you waiting! Here's your food!" The owner returned, giving Kakashi his second serving. They ate for a while in silence, till Iruka finished.

              "Why are you teaching?"

              "Hokage-sama asked me to."

              There was another silence.

              "Why are you teaching Naruto and the others? Hokage-sama told me that you failed all your previous genin."

              "You were that worried?"

              "What?"

              "To ask Hokage-sama about me."

              Iruka blushed. "Well…I mean… It's only natural, isn't it? Sasuke and Sakura were my top students and Naruto…"

              "Was the worst." Kakashi finished for him.

              "Yeah."

              "I told you, Hokage-sama asked. And they passed my test."

              "But why them?"

              "Because they can think for themselves. Although, Sakura needs to work on that too."

              "I thought it was a test about acting as a team?"

              "They didn't do so well on that part. But I was more interested in their ability to think for themselves. Learning to be part of a team is easy, thinking is hard. Of course, they probably had an advantage. Naruto and Sasuke. Since they don't have parents they aren't always being told what to do, so they are used to having to do things by themselves. It's hard to be a good ninja when you still have a bedtime. It makes them bad at teamwork though. Sakura's pretty good at that. The boys are able to get their act together in a pinch, but they're bad at working together otherwise. Still, for genin, they aren't so bad. They have along way to go before they ever become Jounin, however.  Wouldn't you say?"

              Iruka gaped at him.

              "What?" Kakashi looked over his shoulder. "Is Gai back already?"

              "You…"

              "Huh?"

              "You…You actually sounded responsible."

              "I am responsible." Kakashi sounded hurt.

              "Maybe, but you don't act like it."

              "Really?"

              "And I don't think I've heard you speak that much before.

              Kakashi suddenly stood. "Are you done?"

              Iruka looked down at his empty bowl, then at Kakashi's. He hadn't noticed him finishing it. "I guess."

              "Let's go then."

              "All right."

              They paid and left. Outside, Kakashi walked in the general direction of Iruka's apartment, so he followed him. They were down the street before Kakashi spoke. "Do you want me to watch Naruto tomorrow?"

              "Pardon?"

              "You have class, right?" Do you want me to watch him while you're teaching?"

              "I hadn't thought about that. What would happen when Naruto woke up. You don't have to, since he's awake now and it looks like he'll recover completely."

              "But?"

              "But, it would be nice. So he isn't alone all day."

              "I'd think it would be harder on him being with others all day."

              "Why?"

              Kakashi ignored the question. "Want a drink?"

              "A drink?"

              "Yes. We've just eaten, so it's as good a time as any to get drunk."

              "Maybe. It probably isn't a good idea though. I have to teach."

              "Those brats will give you a headache regardless."

              Iruka was going to protest the characterization of his students but Kakashi cut him off. "That's a good place."

              "Underneath the table? That's a strange name."

              Kakashi shrugged. "Part of a saying the owner uses. When looking for a man, a female ninja must look underneath the table."

              "That's an unusual twist to the old saying."

              "Bar owners know many drunkards. So, do you want to drink? To celebrate Naruto finally waking up and all."

              "Maybe… one or two drinks should be fine."

              "Great." Kakashi grabbed his arm. "Let's go."

              "Wahh! Kakashi-sensei! Wait!"

              And so they entered the bar, Kakashi pulling Iruka after him, and began the serious business of getting totally wasted.

End of day 1

AN: All right, to answer a question that popped up in the reviews. As for Kakashi and Iruka calling each other –sensei, I just thought they'd use that because, well, they are teachers. It's an acknowledgement of their position rather than saying they teach each other. I must have picked it up from some anime, one teacher calling another sensei, but I can't remember where. Maybe Azumanga. That's what they use in my head, anyways. And…um…I think that's it. _


	3. Days 2 & 3

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, not me. It's for the best, really.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, and half-hearted boy luv. I don't believe there are spoilers here, though the final scene probably makes more sense if you're up to date with the manga.

Rating: PG-13, for now

Edit: I edited this section because, at least in my browser, things like scene breaks were sadly lacking. Those are actually very important. It still probably looks awful, since this QuickEdit thing hates Word and any attempts I make at prettying it up. I apologize.

Day 2  
  
Iruka growled as a piercing alarm pulled him from his sleep. He growled again when he found it out of his reach. He crawled over the person in bed beside him and groped for the off switch. He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally hit it.  
  
Collapsing across his bedmate he groaned. "I feel awful."  
  
No response.  
  
He pushed at a shoulder. "Still alive?"  
  
Kakashi hit him.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Let me die in peace."  
  
He shook his head. "Fine then."  
  
He crawled out of bed and took a quick shower. Returning to his room he found Kakashi still unconscious so he dressed quickly in the dark before moving to the kitchen. He made some tea and a very light, quick breakfast. He was almost finished, and on his third cup of tea, when he noticed his glass of water was missing. A few seconds later someone collapsed against his back, arms wrapping around his neck. He could feel them holding his glass.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"You ran into some friends, got completely drunk, and passed out on my table."  
  
"Oh. Sorry."  
  
He tried to shrug. "Well, you didn't throw up, so I can forgive you."  
  
Kakashi grunted.  
  
Iruka nudged him. "Don't fall asleep on me. Again."  
  
"You get up too early."  
  
"I teach. Remember?"  
  
"Still too early."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. You going to move soon?"  
  
Kakashi managed to slouch his way over to another chair. He collapsed onto the table.  
  
Iruka got up and refilled the water glass. He put it near Kakashi, who put a hand around it but didn't drink.  
  
"I'm going to check on Naruto before class. You can stay here as long as you like. Try not to kill yourself."  
  
Kakashi nodded slightly. "You're being awful nice."  
  
"I'm in a rush. I'll lecture you later."  
  
"I'll try not to be here."  
  
"If you leave before noon could you bring Naruto some ramen?"  
  
"Worried he isn't eating right?"  
  
Iruka made a face. "More worried he'll bother me until I give in, otherwise."  
  
"Hmm...."  
  
Iruka shook his head. "It's a wonder you're even this awake, the way you were drinking. Just don't get sick. And if you're going to fall asleep, aim for a bed."  
  
"Yes, dear."  
  
Iruka glared at him but left, shutting the door perhaps a bit harder then necessary. Five minutes later Kakashi stretched, stood, and downed the water in one go. He looked around the apartment with a half-smile. A part of him noted that he really couldn't spy since he had permission but a good ninja never let little things get in the way of being sneaky.  
  
So the hunt for Things That Will Embarrass Iruka began. Childhood pictures, old love letters, incredibly tasteless clothes, porn... Well, the porn was easy for Kakashi's trained eye to find, but it was the usual kind. The women were a bit thin for his tastes, but not extremely so. He briefly considered adding something unusual to the pile but the last time he'd done that he had to hide from Gai for a week. It had seemed excessive, for it wasn't his fault Gai's girlfriend had found those copies of Pretty Little Boys. And he certainly hadn't hung that perfectly tailored schoolgirl's uniform in Gai's closet. He still wasn't sure whether Asuma or Kurenai had done that.  
  
He shook off the memory. He had a new victim to embarrass!  
  
He eventually found what he was looking for trapped between the headboard and the wall. It paid to be thorough. Flipping the book open he smirked at the inscription. 'In memory of our torrid love affair – Kai (Remember, if you kill me you have to explain to the girlfriend why. In detail.)'  
  
A man's name, torrid love affairs, another woman, and 'details', all inscribed on the inside cover of a book of homoerotic poetry?  
  
He just had to bring this book with him next time he visited Iruka's class.  
  
###  
  
Sakura stared past the collection of flowers in front of her as she tried to decide what to buy. It had been easier when Sasuke was in the hospital, but he'd been discharged and she couldn't seem to find him anymore. She had to buy Lee his flowers, of course, but she wasn't sure if she should buy any for Naruto. If she could even see him. She'd tried to visit a couple days after he'd arrived but the doctor's had refused to let her into the room. He had to be feeling better now. She couldn't remember him really being ill before; all the times he'd missed class he had just been skipping out.  
  
"Are you going to buy something or trying to make them wilt?"  
  
She ignored Ino and stood. "Just the usual, today."  
  
Naruto would just take a flower as encouragement anyway.  
  
Sakura stood over Naruto's hospital bed, watching him.  
  
He was asleep. Quiet. Almost. He would occasionally murmur, but she knew he was incapable of complete still ness. He looked healthy enough; there were no scars and few bandages.  
  
She watched him for another minute before turning to leave. She'd visited, he was fine, and staying longer just risked him waking. She couldn't make good on her escape, however, since someone attempted to enter as she tried to exit. She and Kiba stared at each other, startled. Akamaru popped out of Kiba's shirt and yipped. Sakura winced and shoved them back out, shutting the door behind her.  
  
"Hey!" Kiba protested. "What was that for?"  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"I was visiting. How about you?"  
  
She glared at him. "Leaving."  
  
"You could've waited a second."  
  
She ignored that. "Why are you visiting Naruto anyway?"  
  
"I need to talk to him. Why else?"  
  
Boys. No other creature could be so annoying. "He's asleep."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"He's sick." She stressed. "He needs rest."  
  
"Hasn't he been here a week? He was awake yesterday."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Hinata talked to him."  
  
"Hinata? Why was she here?"  
  
"I guess she wanted to talk to him too."  
  
Sakura glared at the door, wondering when Naruto became so popular.  
  
"Didn't Sasuke tell you he woke up?"  
  
She snapped back to attention. "Sasuke?"  
  
He rolled his eyes. That would get her attention. "Yeah. Hinata says he's been visiting almost as much as she has. Keeps walking in to find him glaring at Naruto."  
  
Why would Sasuke be visiting? At all? She had to find him.  
  
Kiba looked at the door. "Asleep, huh?"  
  
"Yeah." She mumbled, wondering if it was still early enough to catch him on the way to training.  
  
Kiba frowned. "Guess I shouldn't wake him. Bah. I'll straighten him out – Hey, where are you going now?"  
  
Sakura simply walked off, ignoring him.  
  
"What's wrong with that girl?"  
  
Akamaru barked emphatically.  
  
Kiba watched Naruto's door for a bit before shaking his head. "Lazy brat. Hey, Akamaru, let's go see if Kurenai really will faint if we show up early!"  
  
Akamaru wriggled out of Kiba's shirt and lead the way down the hallway.  
  
###  
  
Naruto yawned, waking slowly. At least today he knew where he was.  
  
"Finally awake, huh?"  
  
He jumped. Why couldn't anyone wait until he noticed them to speak? "Eh? Neji?"  
  
Hyuuga Neji stood leaning against the wall by the door. He simply nodded.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was visiting Lee and decided to stop by. Gai-sensei had meant to visit you but the nurses said he was too loud."  
  
That was one way to describe him. "Why were you waiting for me to wake up then?"  
  
"I wasn't." Neji replied simply. He spoke again before Naruto could. "It's already past noon."  
  
Naruto blinked then looked at the window. The curtains were drawn. "Really?"  
  
Neji nodded again, though Naruto was looking the other way.  
  
"Man, I slept a lot." Naruto threw off the covers and stretched. "Is it too late for lunch?"  
  
"Probably."  
  
"No fair!"  
  
"Just ask a nurse to bring you something. They're usually nice about that kind of thing."  
  
Naruto hesitated. "Yeah...sure."  
  
Neji tilted his head slightly but his voice remained flat. "Hmm?"  
  
"I don't like talking to them. They keeping taking my temperature and asking me stuff. It's like they think I'm dying."  
  
"Are you?"  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Then tell them that."  
  
'They don't listen. They keep saying I don't really know."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I can't remember."  
  
Neji raised an eyebrow.  
  
Naruto shrugged. "They say that's pretty normal. Considering how messed up my head was."  
  
Neji's eyes widened slightly but he said nothing.  
  
Naruto sighed, resting a hand on his stomach. Then he suddenly looked up, face excited, as if he's thought of something. "Hey, hey, Neji?"  
  
A cautious, "Yes?"  
  
"Maybe you could ask them to bring me something. Ramen?"  
  
Neji moved away from the wall. "Apparently they hit you harder than you thought."  
  
"Wait, wait! Just ask, it isn't that hard!"  
  
"They'll want to check on you now that you're awake, you know."  
  
"Fine, fine. Just ask, okay?"  
  
"Why don't you ask?"  
  
"Because," Naruto faltered, voice dropping. "It's not like they'd give me any."  
  
"Then why should I bother asking?"  
  
Naruto threw his pillow at him. "Just do it!"  
  
"Keep yelling and I won't have to."  
  
"You really are a complete bastard, aren't you?"  
  
Neji simply shrugged again.  
  
"Ask!" Naruto whined.  
  
"No."  
  
"Ask!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Ask!"  
  
"N-" Neji cut himself off. "I don't have to put up with this.  
  
He turned, opened the door, and stepped out. He'd barely exited before he was tackled from behind.  
  
"I'm hungry!" Naruto wailed, almost directly in his ear.  
  
Neji winced. "Don't yell. I can – could – hear you."  
  
"Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry!"  
  
He struggled to get free but Naruto clung with a surprising strength. "Let go!"  
  
"Ask!"  
  
"I don't have to! With the way you're carrying on everyone already knows that you're hungry."  
  
"See? They aren't going to bring me food. So ask."  
  
"Why would my asking change that?"  
  
"Just ask!"  
  
"I already said no! Let me go!"  
  
Surprisingly Naruto did. Unfortunately Neji was still shoving him away, so he fell against the wall, hitting it with his back and head.  
  
Naruto winced, clutching his head. "Ow! Why does everyone seem so intent on giving me brain damage?"  
  
"Don't whimper." Neji admonished, concentrating. "Byakugan!"  
  
He stared as the flow of Naruto's chakra was revealed. An unusual large amount of charka was flowing throughout his body and a strange energy had mixed itself with Naruto's. It seemed the strongest in his stomach, for some reason. Small amounts of the foreign energy were everywhere but it was also mixed in strongly in his head. Neji had never seen such a disorganized mass of charka. He even thought he saw a third kind. Naruto's and the foreign energy fused together, perhaps?  
  
Naruto glared. "Stop staring, it's creepy."  
  
He dropped the byakugan. "You're a mess."  
  
Naruto grumbled. "No kidding."  
  
Neji stood. He watched silently as Naruto pulled himself up so he was sitting. "Still hungry?"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Food?"  
  
"Uh, yeah." He seemed confused by Neji's sudden helpfulness.  
  
"I'll go talk to a nurse."  
  
Naruto watched him leave, confused. "What'd I say?"  
  
###  
  
Iruka entered Naruto's room to find him sitting up in bed and poking at a tray of food. "You're still eating?"  
  
Naruto smiled. "Iruka-sensei! You came to visit again!"  
  
"Of course." He said as he grabbed a chair and pulled it over by the bed.  
  
Naruto looked at the bag he'd brought with him. "What's that?"  
  
"We had a written test today."  
  
Naruto made a face. "Poor Konohamaru."  
  
"They're necessary. How have you been today?"  
  
"Good, good. My head still kinda hurts though."  
  
Iruka frowned and put a hand on his forehead. Naruto tried to bat it away. "Stop that."  
  
"What're you doing?"  
  
"Checking if you have a fever."  
  
"By putting your hand on my head?"  
  
"That's the usual way."  
  
Naruto frowned. "You mean you don't need a thermometer?"  
  
"That is more accurate, but they aren't always around. Didn't-" He cut himself off awkwardly. Of course Naruto didn't know, his parents hadn't lived long enough to put a hand on his head sick or not.  
  
"Didn't?" Naruto asked, unaware of where he'd been going with that.  
  
"Hasn't a nurse done it?" Iruka tried to smooth it over.  
  
"No. They use thermometers."  
  
"Well, they have them available. This is just..." Something parents do. "Just a kind of check."  
  
"Ehh. Weird."  
  
Iruka smiled sadly. "Yeah, it is."  
  
"How long does it take?"  
  
He pulled his hand away. "Sorry, you distracted me. You do have a fever."  
  
"Wow, that does work!"  
  
"Did the nurse check earlier?"  
  
"Yeah. She said it was just a little high, so it's probably not a problem."  
  
"Hmm..." He looked at the tray. "Isn't that cold?"  
  
"Nah. They just brought it in a little while ago. I woke up late."  
  
"You didn't stay up late, did you?"  
  
"Of course not. Nothing to do here anyway."  
  
"Well, sleep is important for healing."  
  
"I suppose."  
  
Iruka tapped the tray edge. "Finish eating."  
  
Naruto made a face. "Don't want to. Tastes awful."  
  
"You still need to eat it."  
  
'Why can't they have ramen here?"  
  
"Do you really want hospital ramen?"  
  
"Ramen's ramen. You can't ruin it."  
  
"Don't you eat anything else?"  
  
"Why should I?"  
  
"It's unhealthy."  
  
"There're vegetables in ramen."  
  
Iruka simply Looked at him.  
  
"I'll be fine, I'll be fine. I'm always healthy."  
  
"Naruto..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You're in the hospital."  
  
"So?"  
  
"Again."  
  
"Doesn't mean I'm not healthy."  
  
Iruka sighed. "Why do I even bother, you never listen anyway."  
  
"I listen! I just don't do everything you tell me."  
  
"I noticed. Eat your food."  
  
"No way. This can't be healthy, it's all mush."  
  
"They won't poison you. Just eat it."  
  
"It tastes like poison."  
  
"Medicine is what tastes bad. Eat."  
  
Naruto set his jaw. "No."  
  
"If you do, I'll talk to the nurse about getting you ramen."  
  
"Ichiraku ramen?"  
  
"I thought all ramen is good?"  
  
"Ichiraku's is best. And this stuff tastes really bad."  
  
"How can you be a jounin when you can't even beat...whatever that is."  
  
"I'm going to fight my opponents, not eat them."  
  
"That's disgusting."  
  
Naruto tried a spoonful of something particularly mushy. "So's this."  
  
The door opened and Kakashi stepped in. "Yo! Am I interrupting anything or should I come back later?"  
  
"Iruka-sensei's making me eat nasty stuff!"  
  
"I think that's a vegetable." Iruka noted.  
  
"Iruka-sensei's making me eat vegetables!"  
  
"Hmmm..." Kakashi looked to Iruka. "Should we call you Iruka-mommy?"  
  
Iruka glared at him as Naruto snickered. When he spoke his voice was cold. "Why are you here?"  
  
"Just visiting." Kakashi replied breezily, moving to sit in a chair by he window. "Are you going to eat, Naruto?"  
  
Naruto pushed the tray away. "Not hungry anymore."  
  
Iruka made a vexed noise. There was a silence as Naruto sat with his arms crossed, Iruka frowned, and Kakashi ignored the rising tension. Eventually the door opened again and a doctor stepped into the room.  
  
He was tall, with short black hair and a stern expression. "Uzumaki-kun?  
  
"Yes?"  
  
The doctor moved to the foot of the bed as a nurse removed the tray. "I'm Hyuuga Akio. How are you feeling today?"  
  
"My head hurt a bit. The nurse gave me drugs though."  
  
"Did it hurt the same as yesterday?"  
  
"About the same."  
  
Akio looked to the teachers. "Have you noticed anything?"  
  
"I just got here." Kakashi said.  
  
"I haven't. He's as stubborn as ever."  
  
Naruto frowned. "Are you going to examine me now?"  
  
"I wish I had been here to see you yesterday. Your situation is highly dangerous and potentially unstable."  
  
"I feel fine. Don't know why everyone keeps saying I'm so sick."  
  
Akio picked up the chart from the end of the bed. "According to Tsunade-sama, when you were found you were covered in knife wounds, bruises, had several broken bones and there was internal bleeding. There was also a great deal of trauma to your skull, which was cracked in two places. Blood loss, shock..." The doctor flipped over to the next page. "The technical list of your wounds is quite lengthy, but I'm sure you get the idea."  
  
Naruto had gone pale. He tugged at the neck of the hospital gown.  
  
"Your exterior wounds have all healed, I assure you. Even your bones seem to have mended. The only outward sign of your illness is that seal on your stomach."  
  
Naruto blinked and pulled up his shirt. Sure enough, the Nine-tails seal was clearly visible. "But I'm not using any chakra!"  
  
"On the contrary. You've been using large amounts of the-" He cut himself off. "Of chakra to heal yourself. Unconsciously, it seems."  
  
"It never showed up before, when I was just healing."  
  
"You've never been hurt so badly."  
  
"I-"  
  
Akio sighed and set the chart down. "Uzumaki-kun, if you'd been damaged any more severely you would be dead, Tsunade-sama and healing powers or no. You must realize this. While most of your wounds have healed your brain is still in some danger. Enough that even Neji noticed something was wrong with a single look. The incident earlier is most likely due to-"  
  
"Incident? Iruka cut in.  
  
Akio glared at him. "Please, do not interrupt me. I understand that Uzumaki-kun gets distraught when you're threatened with removal, but if you obstruct me I will make you leave anyway."  
  
Iruka started to object but Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. He'd again failed to notice him moving.  
  
Akio turned back to Naruto, who looked distracted and depressed. "The possibility of brain damage is obvious in both the extended time you are taking to heal and the earlier incident. Neji told me what happened. Normally, a minor bump to the head wouldn't have affected you, but it would appear that it has disrupted something."  
  
Naruto nodded slowly.  
  
"Well, now that you finally seem to understand, let's get on with it. Can you feel your legs yet?"  
  
###  
  
"That moron!" Iruka exploded as soon as they left the hospital. "Why didn't he say anything?"  
  
Kakashi didn't reply, but Iruka wasn't really asking.  
  
"He said he was doing fine. Just a little head pain, he said. A little head pain! You'd think paralysis would rate higher!"  
  
"They don't know it's permanent."  
  
"He can't even feel his legs!"  
  
"Well..."  
  
Iruka growled. "I can't believe him! That Neji boy shoves him into the wall, paralyzes him, and he complains the hospital doesn't have ramen? Picks a fight over vegetables?"  
  
"Maybe he thought he suffered enough without broccoli?"  
  
"This isn't funny!"  
  
"No, it isn't. May not last either."  
  
"May not."  
  
"Doctors hate to commit. That's why we love 'em."  
  
Iruka stopped in the middle of the alley they were walking down. "How can you be so calm?"  
  
"You're excited enough for both of us."  
  
"Kakashi..."  
  
He held up a hand. "Really, you are. Naruto needs one of us to stay calm. He expects you to be upset, but if I start acting worried he will be too. His staying calm and believing he'll heal is absolutely necessary. He has to heal himself, there's nothing the doctors can do."  
  
Iruka thought about that. "I see. I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't worry. No one expects mommies to be rational."  
  
Iruka glared. "I'm not his mother."  
  
"No, but you are his Iruka-mommy."  
  
Iruka gave up. He'd been a teacher long enough to know that the more you protested a nickname the more often it would be used in public. You just had to ignore it and hope the other party got bored. And he so really didn't want this one to spread. He took a deep breath and continued walking. Kakashi fell into step beside him.  
  
"I feel like cooking. Let's stop at the store."  
  
Iruka eyed him. "All right."  
  
"It'll make up for the fact I'm sleeping in your bed again."  
  
Iruka twitched. "Really."  
  
"Mhmm. Have to wake up tomorrow, some mission or another." Kakashi looked back at him. "You'll be sure I'm up and ready on time, right?"  
  
He was not blushing. Not enough that anyone could tell, at least. "Fine."  
  
"Yay! Let's stop by my place first, you don't have the right equipment."  
  
Maybe he could just get Kakashi drunk. The jounin was a very sleepy drunk, he'd discovered. When they'd reached a grocery store a thought suddenly hit him. "Ne, Kakashi-sensei?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Couldn't you be considered Naruto's daddy then?"  
  
Kakashi walked into a display.  
  
Day 3  
  
"Sasuke! I finally found you!"  
  
Sasuke stiffened, not turning from the rock he'd be training on. How had she found him?  
  
Sakura ran up carrying a wrapped box. "What're you doing all the way out here? It took me forever to find you."  
  
He turned to glare at her. She hesitated only a second. "What?" He demanded.  
  
She held the box out to him. "Breakfast!"  
  
"I ate before I left."  
  
"Ahh...well...Lunch?"  
  
"Why are you here? You didn't come all the way out here this early to give me food."  
  
She lowered the lunch box, since he obviously wasn't interested. "I...I was... I was worried!"  
  
He glared disbelievingly at her. Apparently she'd gotten used to that though, and continued on. "You just vanished! And here you are, pushing yourself again , and who knows how long it would be before someone found you if you collapsed out here again and-"  
  
He cut her off. "I'm training. I don't have to check in with you."  
  
"But we're-"  
  
"A team? With no missions, no teacher, and no Naruto?"  
  
"We don't need him. Kakashi will come back and then we-"  
  
"Then we can what? Go fight Sand ninjas? Pull weeds? If you're so eager to be on a team you should be training, not delivering lunch."  
  
She winced. "But..."  
  
He turned away. "But nothing! I don't have time to waste with you any more."  
  
"Then why are you always visiting Naruto?"  
  
He froze. "I'm not there that often."  
  
"That's not what Hinata said."  
  
He scowled. "So what? Even if I was visiting him, what does it matter?"  
  
"So you have time for him and not for me?"  
  
He decided that wasn't worth answering.  
  
"Should I leave the team too? Would you care about me then?"  
  
Sasuke blinked. "Leave the team? Why would Naruto-" He cut himself off, suddenly angry. "He didn't make chuunin, did he?"  
  
"Naruto? No way! But it's not like he can be part of the team now, can he?"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"He'd have to be able to walk, right?"  
  
###  
  
Naruto groaned as someone poked at him. He was not going to wake up. Nurses had been waking him all night and he was tired of it. It wasn't like they couldn't wait until morning.  
  
The intrusive individual poked harder. He wondered what would happen if he bit them. They'd probably leave him alone then.  
  
"Wake up, you absolute idiot."  
  
He frowned. Only one person called him that. "Sasuke?"  
  
Sasuke glared at him. "Finally."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Move."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Move."  
  
Naruto stared as Sasuke watched him. "You've gone insane."  
  
"Shut up! Just move!"  
  
He'd never wanted to beat someone so badly. Except maybe Neji. "No!"  
  
"Stop being stubborn, moron, and just move! Roll over or something."  
  
Naruto's eyes widened as Sasuke leaned over. The only reason he could think of that he'd need to move would be so there was space for Sasuke and... "Ew! No! No, no, no!"  
  
He flailed, nearly catching Sasuke on the chin. "Stay away from me, you pervert!"  
  
Sasuke backed away. "What? Pervert?"  
  
"Yes, you, you freaky-eyed per-"  
  
Sasuke put a hand over his mouth, cutting him off. "Quiet. You're going to bring every nurse on the floor in here."  
  
Naruto seemed to welcome that.  
  
"I was just... Dammit, she said you were paralyzed, I..." He pulled back as Naruto smiled. Feeling that was too weird.  
  
"You were worried!" Naruto pronounced triumphantly.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You were worried! About me!"  
  
Sasuke hadn't seen Naruto look so happy since Sakura had deigned to acknowledge him. "I was not worried."  
  
"Then why are you here?"  
  
"I..."  
  
"That's why you're always here! You caare!"  
  
Sasuke growled. How dare Naruto mock him! "I don't! Care about you."  
  
Naruto smirked. "Sure."  
  
Sasuke grabbed a pillow and attempted to smother him. He let Naruto struggle a minute before dropping the pillow. Naruto threw the pillow across the room and glared at him, apparently speechless. Sasuke smirked. "At least you shut-"  
  
Naruto flung himself awkwardly from the bed, crashing into Sasuke and knocking him back onto the floor. "What the hell was that?"  
  
Sasuke flipped them over, easily pinning Naruto. They glared at each other, eye to eye. Naruto was growling quietly and Sasuke gripped his wrists hard enough to hurt. Eventually Sasuke spoke. "You really are paralyzed, aren't you?"  
  
Naruto snarled and struggled, but Sasuke held him easily.  
  
Sasuke sighed and leaned forward so he was cheek and cheek with Naruto, mouth by the blonde's ear. All he said was, "Good."  
  
"Good? What's so good about it? Hah, were you worried I'd kick your-"  
  
Sasuke stood and kicked Naruto in the stomach, staring past him as the boy gasped for breath. "Good, maybe this way I won't have to..."  
  
Naruto grabbed at his ankle, trying to pull him off his feet. Sasuke stepped on his hand. "Too easy."  
  
"Sasuke! What's wrong with you?"  
  
Sasuke reached down and easily lifted him.  
  
"Why are you always here?"  
  
He tossed Naruto onto the bed and pinned him again, trapping his left hand over his head.  
  
"Why can't you leave me alone?"  
  
Sasuke watched him squirm before replying slowly. "Because, you're my friend."  
  
With that, Sasuke reached up with his free hand and began to choke him.  
  
He didn't waste time struggling. Sasuke was too strong to beat with only one hand and he was weaponless. He couldn't seem to depend on anyone interrupting them either. He had to find a way out of this on his own. He coughed weakly, trying to think. If only he had both hands, he could...  
  
Suddenly he raised his free hand to form a seal with the trapped one and rasped, "Kage bunshin!"  
  
Sasuke released his neck and turned to eliminate the three clones that had appeared behind him, all without loosening his hold on Naruto's left hand. "You're only making-"  
  
He stopped speaking as he noticed a final clone, crouched and previously hidden by the bed, waving his hands over Naruto's free one. His eyes widened as a large ball of air seemed to appear over Naruto's hand. "What is that?"  
  
And then the bed, and much of the floor, exploded.  
  
Excessively long Authors notes: Hmm, this one is a bit shorter then the previous chapters, but it is a good stopping point. Also, it should be noted, that it has not, in fact, been over a year since I updated. That is entirely your imagination. Yes. Imagination. Not actual time. Really.  
  
In the distracting words of ZIM: That went smoothly!  
  
Anyway, it's for the best. The not!year thing. Because I ended up having to rewrite the final scene. It was almost fluffy before and, as we know, that just isn't right. Hopefully it makes sense even if you aren't up-to-date with the latest endless fight of doom. I could just subtitle this chapter: Sasuke is fubar. Even for a ninja.  
  
Sakura finally makes her appearance and Hinata does not. She will be back though. I may be mean to her, but I do like her. I'm mean to everyone. I blame X, because I can, and I'm still getting over my fangirlish urge to refer to cherry trees as sakura. I wouldn't call it sakura pie, so I must call it a cherry tree. Mmmm, pie digressions...  
  
Kakashi and Iruka's sleeping together? Take that as you will. You know you would anyway.  
  
If you want to yell at me for being mean, argue the whole not!year thing, point out a plot hole or simply discuss the Naruto series, please feel free to comment here or over at my lj. I'll respond there, which I do not here. 


	4. Days 3 & 4

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, not me. It's for the best, really.

Warnings: Cursing, violence, and an OC.

Rating: PG-13, for now

Timeline note: I may have mentioned this before but it bears repeating: The story diverges from the canon just after Naruto meets Tsunade. It begins a little over a week after that day. The Sannin fight did occur even though Naruto wasn't there.

Chapter 4 - In which Jiraiya is smooth and Naruto isn't.

Naruto sat in a wheelchair in a new hospital room and stared at his palm. He'd done it! He'd used the rasengan! And within only three days! He'd definitely be able to perfect it within the week and then he'd show that old witch.

The only problem was that he couldn't practice. They were already upset over his blowing up one room; he doubted they'd be happy if he continued. And he couldn't just walk out.

He hesitated then looked down at the wheelchair. If he couldn't walk out, then… Surely they wouldn't mind if he went to practice. They probably wouldn't even notice.

Decided, he began to make his way to the lobby. They'd put him on the ground floor so it was easy. He'd just made it outside when a dog ran into his path. He yelped and stopped suddenly. "Hey, hey, puppy, what do you think you're doing?"

The dog barked at him.

"Oh no…"

"You found him, Akamaru?"

Naruto winced as Kiba ran up. "Why are you here?"

"We were looking for you!" Kiba declared as Akamaru jumped into Naruto's lap.

"Why?"

"I need to talk to you."

Naruto frowned suspiciously. Kiba was more of a wrestle-them-into-the-ground type then a talk-to-them-over-a-nice-cup-of-tea guy. His best friend was a dog! "Why?"

"Just listen, okay? I'll get you out of here, ne?"

"I was getting myself out!"

"Dressed like that?"

Naruto looked down. Shit! He'd forgotten he was wearing hospital clothes! "Uh…shut up! I was doing fine."

"School's almost over and Iruka-sensei always finds you."

"He found you too!"

"I'm not the one in the wheelchair."

He couldn't argue that.

"Why are you in that thing anyway? Did you really blow yourself up?"

"Hell no!"

"Heh. Didn't think even you were that dumb."

"Kiba!"

Kiba eyed the front doors. "We better go before the nurses find you. Where were you going?"

"To train."

"Like that?"

"Like this!"

"Geez, alright. C'mon."

Naruto frowned as Kiba began to wheel him into the village. "Why are you being so helpful?"

"Can't beat you up, might as well try this."

"Huh?"

"Hinata will get mad if I hit you." He paused, and then continued. "Plus, you're in a wheelchair."

"Hinata?"

They were silent for a while before Naruto spoke again. "Hey, hey, why was Hinata there when I woke up?"

"She came every day."

"She hasn't been."

"Because you yelled at her, stupid."

"I yell at Iruka-sensei all the time!"

"Iruka-sensei isn't a girl."

"Obviously!"

There was another silence.

"Hey, hey, Kiba?"

"What?"

"Your dog snores."

* * *

Jiraiya surveyed Naruto's destroyed hospital room and smiled. Tsunade knelt by the hole, shaking her head. "Why are you so happy?" She poked at some loose concrete before continuing. "He still isn't using it right." 

"I suppose. But… I don't think he was trying to attack someone."

"Obviously, he was training and lost control."

"Really? Training hanging off the bed is weird even for him."

"What do you think happened?"

"The nurse thought she saw bruises on his neck and wrist."

"No one else?"

"He heals quickly."

"Who would attack him?"

Jiraiya considered. "An Uchiha, perhaps?"

"Itachi? He wouldn't give up so easily."

"No, he wouldn't."

"An angry villager?"

"No."

"You're sure?"

"Someone snuck in but Naruto didn't shout. They were choking him yet he aimed at the floor. He knew them and didn't want to hurt them."

Tsunade stood. "And he'd have killed them if he didn't know them?"

"Maybe."

Tsunade shook her head. "He uses it too easily."

"It is rather impressive, though, that he could use it in his condition."

She turned to the nurse standing just outside the door. "Well, where is he?"

"F-Forgive me, Hokage-sama, but he seems to have left."

"Left?"

"Yes. He's not in his room. I think… I think he snuck out, ma'am."

Tsunade sighed as Jiraiya laughed. "Idiots, all of you." 

* * *

Iruka sat at his desk in the large teachers office and struggled through his latest stack of paperwork. He fought the urge to put it off another day. The children wanted their grades and he needed the weekend to prepare the next week's classes. He blinked as one of the papers came up reading simply, 'You have a visitor'. He turned to Kai, who smiled at nodded at the door before going back to his grading. Iruka set his pen down and went out to the hallway. "Can I he-eh?"

Jiraiya waved. "Hey. You were Naruto's teacher, right?"

"Yes!"

"You still see him?"

"Yes."

"Do you know where he is now?"

"The hospital?"

Jiraiya shook his head. "He left."

"He was discharged already?"

"No."

Iruka twitched. "So…He just left."

"Yep. Just wheeled on out." At Iruka's blank look Jiraiya added. "Since he can't walk, you know."

"So he got a wheelchair and just…rolled out?"

"So it seems."

"Why?"

"We're not sure. That's why I'm here to see you. We need to find him."

"How long has he been missing?"

"A couple hours maybe."

"Excuse me for asking, but why are you searching for him already? I mean, um, you're…well…"

"One of the Three Ninjas?"

Iruka nodded.

"Well, Tsunade wants to look him over and we'd like to know why he blew his room up, so…are you okay?"

Iruka was definitely twitching now. "Naruto, that idiot!"

* * *

Naruto growled as he wheeled himself to a new spot to practice. Maybe he shouldn't have made Kiba leave, but Kakashi had been very firm that a ninja should hide his techniques. Kiba'd probably bother him to teach it to him if he saw it, anyway. He couldn't waste time doing that. Tsunade could be back at any time, he just had to be ready and show her up! 

He stopped as someone grabbed the back of the chair. He turned to yell at them and froze. "Oh shit, sensei!"

Iruka was pissed. "Naruto, what do you think you're doing?"

"Training?"

"You're hurt!"

"You always yelled at me when I tried to use that excuse be-"

"This is serious!"

"So I can't train at all?"

"You should be in the hospital!"

"They're annoying and the food is bad and they won't miss me if I'm gone just a little-"

"Absolutely no leaving!"

Naruto winced. "But they won't let me train _there_ and I have to-"

"Then get better. You can't heal if you wear yourself out. You can train after-"

"But I feel fine now!"

"You can't move your legs"

"Other then that."

"And your head?"

"Uh…other then that."

"Naruto!"

"I don't want to just sit around! I need to train and get stronger and beat up stupid Sasuke."

"You can do some training, but the doctors-"

"I need to do this!"

"If you're done…" Jiraiya cut in, turning Naruto's chair so he faced the older ninjas.

"What are you doing here, pervy sennin?"

"Don't call me that." Jiraiya snapped. Iruka was too distracted to correct the boy.

"When did you get back?"

"Just today. Couldn't you have waited to cause trouble?"

Naruto grumbled. "Wasn't my fault."

Jiraiya gestured for Iruka to remain quiet. "Of course it wasn't."

"It really wasn't!"

"After all, if it wasn't for Sasuke, you couldn't have gotten in trouble over your room."

"Yeah, if he hadn't…uh…Shit!"

"If he hadn't what, Naruto?"

"Nothing."

"If he hadn't nothinged?"

"No, no, no! I'm not falling for that!"

"Falling for what? It's not like you did anything wrong, right?"

There was a long silence before Naruto sighed. "Don't tell Kakashi-sensei, okay?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean, you know, he said that I need to hide my techniques and shouldn't show off but Sasuke was being such a pain just because he has that chidori thing so I…"

"So you used the rasengan?"

"Yeah."

Jiraiya considered then patted him on the head. "Bet that shut him up."

Naruto grinned. "Of course."

"It still isn't perfect though."

"That's why I'm here."

Jiraiya turned abruptly. "That's all I needed to know. You can yell at him again."

"Uhh…sure…" Iruka said, looking confused.

"Does this mean I can still practice?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"You'll have to ask Tsunade about that. I never listened to doctors though."

"The old lady came back too? So, she's gonna be Hokage?"

"Naruto, be respectful."

Jiraiya smiled. "Yeah, she's going to be the Fifth. Disappointed?"

"I'll just have to be Sixth then!"

Iruka sighed as Jiraiya walked past him. "I'm sorry he's so childish."

"Really? I suppose. He's doing alright though."

"Will you speak with Tsunade-sama?"

"I'll mention it. Iruka?"

"Yes?"

"Does Sasuke have a pet?"

"No, why?"

"Naruto smells like dog."

* * *

"Hey, hey, old lady?" 

"Call me Hokage."

"So you're definitely going to be the Fifth?"

"Obviously."

"Why'd you change your mind?"

Tsunade didn't respond.

"Because, I mean, you said you didn't want the job. Why did you leave again if you were going to accept?"

"I had something to do."

"Orochimaru?"

"Because of him, yes."

"So why did you come back? You took a long time."

There was another silence but Tsunade broke it. "Saying no to Orochimaru and accepting this weren't one and the same."

"Huh?"

"I remembered something someone important told me."

Naruto stared at her. "Eh?"

She sniffed. "Why should I tell you? You're here for an exam, not a chat."

"Mean!"

"Yes, yes, now be quiet."

Naruto managed that for almost five minutes. "Hey, hey!"

Tsunade made an annoyed noise, looking over Naruto's legs. "And you were doing so well."

"Can I practice?"

"Hmm?"

"The rasengan! I need to practice!"

She stared at him.

"I won't lose that bet! Don't think you can wriggle out of it just by keeping me here."

"Naruto, the week is long gone."

"Since I woke up! Or from now, since they won't let me practice."

"Of course they won't."

"Hmph, what do they know."

"They know more than you do, not that that's hard. You can't train like this."

"But, I need-"

"You wouldn't last long, even if you tried."

"But…"

She sighed. "Fine. We'll revise it. You'll have three days from when I say you can practice. If, that is, you think that's enough time?"

"No problem!"

"Fine then. I can always use more money."

"Greedy bi-aaah! What are you doing?"

She dropped his shirt on a nearby table. "It was dirty anyway. What were you thinking, sneaking out without even a change of clothes?"

Naruto glared at her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Of? What's this? So embarrassed, you really don't have skills with women, do you?"

"So what! I'm not the pervy old man!"

Tsunade smirked. "What would you do if I did this?" And before he could react she pulled down his pants.

Naruto squeaked. "Give me back my clothing!"

Tsunade laughed. "Why are you so embarrassed? I'm a doctor."

Shizune, her attendant, opened the door and leaned in. "Tsunade-sama, are you all right?"

Tsunade tossed her his clothing. "Get him something clean, would you?"

"Yes. Um…"

Tsunade looked down at Naruto and smirked. "Ah, I almost forgot."

"Don't you dare!"

She nodded to Shizune to leave. "Such a prude."

"You stole my clothes!"

"So? Haven't you ever been swimming with others?"

"That's different!"

"How?"

"I took my shirt off myself."

She shook her head. "Sophistry."

"Hmph. Can you at least have her bring me my clothes?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You'll be staying here."

"Why? I feel fine."

"You aren't better yet."

He sulked. She patted his head. "It won't be long. I'll check on you when I can."

He was resentfully silent for the rest of the check-up, barely even acknowledging Shizune when she returned. Afterwards, she sent him off to his room with Iruka. Stepping out she looked to Jiraiya, who was lounging nearby. "Who's watching him?"

"Kakashi left on a mission yesterday."

"Anyone else?"

"Not worth it."

She sighed. "Hopefully he won't be needed."

"No one suspicious has been asking about him."

"That's even worse. I doubt _they_ will just accept he went missing for awhile."

"They won't get clues from him."

"And they won't risk letting him be taken by an unknown."

"Should I put Kakashi back on watch again?"

"No. We need his abilities. They could just wait us out."

"They may be investigating."

"We couldn't find anything. They'll want to talk to him eventually."

"If he's that important."

She made a face. "We'll just have to wait and see. They may be the ones who took him."

"Too many possibilities, huh? Ne, Tsunade?"

"What?"

"Since you're done for now, what do you say to go getting-"

"No."

"But I didn't even finish!"

"I'm busy. Go peep in the baths."

"But it'll be dark soon!"

"Just leave!"

* * *

The door to Naruto's room slammed open and Gai burst in. "Uzumaki Naruto!" 

No response. Naruto was once again asleep. Iruka looked up from his attempts to remove the boy from his lap. "Ahh, Gai. He just fell asleep, maybe in the morning…"

"Very well! I shall not disturb a sleeping invalid! Until tomorrow!"

And just as quickly as he'd come he was gone. Iruka stared. "What was that about?"

He attempted to push Naruto off him yet again, but the boy clung sleepily. "He could've at least helped _me_ leave." 

Day 4 

Naruto awoke slowly, luxuriating in the ability to do so. It took awhile for the fact he wasn't alone to register. "Eh? Hinata?"

Hinata jumped, knocking over the flowers she'd been arranging. "Ahh!"

"Why are you here?"

"I…um…I…Flowers!

He looked at them lying in a spreading puddle of water. "Oh."

"I saw Sakura bringing flowers the other day and…"

He perked up. "Sakura? She was here?"

"Not today."

"Oh…"

She quickly gathered the flowers and put them in the vase. "I'll leave after… after I clean up, so…"

He thought. He had something he had to say to her but was too drowsy to remember what. "Hinata."

"Yes?"

"Oh yeah! I have to apologize!"

"Eh? To me?"

"Who else? I, uh, shouldn't have yelled at you."

She stared at him.

"Umm… Sorry, I'm not very good at this. But I really shouldn't have yelled like that. I must've been cranky. Or something. So… sorry?"

She didn't move. Things got awkward quickly.

Gai decided this was the perfect timing to make his entrance truly dynamic. He opened the door and was in the room before they could react. "Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Hinata, you must not waste the passion of youth on vain quarrels! The flames of youth, wild though they may be, need to be allowed to burn freely yet directed!"

Both genin stared at him, shocked into rapt attention. Sometimes, Naruto would later decide, it just wasn't worth getting up.

* * *

"Uchiha Sasuke." Someone stated rather then asked. 

Sasuke looked up to see a man standing a few feet away. He narrowed his eyes but didn't move. The man looked familiar.

"Eating so early?"

Interfering attitude and masses of long white hair meant one person. "Jiraiya."

"So you do know my name."

He set his food down and stood to face the older ninja. "What do you want?"

"Well…"

Jiraiya stepped forward, grabbed Sasuke by the neck, and lifted him into the air in one smooth motion. Sasuke struggled, reaching up to try and free himself. But when Jiraiya lifted his other hand, with a swirling ball of wind on it, he gasped.

"Hmm, you recognize the rasengan."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "What if I do?"

Jiraiya dropped him, letting the rasengan disperse. "Nothing, really. It just means you were with Naruto earlier. Would you care to explain what happened?"

"Nothing. Just an accident."

"Naruto just spontaneously used such a powerful technique?"

Sasuke refused to elaborate.

"Ah, well, it must've been confusing. It's too powerful to be used in such a small room, after all."

Sasuke gritted his teeth.

"And with Naruto's head…Orochimaru won't help you."

That was too fast a shift for Sasuke to keep up with. "What?"

Jiraiya put his hand, seemingly by accident, right over the curse seal on Sasuke's shoulder. "Orochimaru helps no one but himself. He fears your brother. He won't make you stronger."

Sasuke brushed him off. "What do you know?"

"About Orochimaru? More than enough. Fifty years of knowledge." 

"He wants my brother dead, he-"

"He wants your brother to leave him alone. He won't risk a confrontation he believes he can't win."

Sasuke tried to counter but he was cut off. "Even if you won, he'd kill you."

"So? Itachi-"

"Will have truly destroyed your clan then."

Even that didn't shut him up. "I-"

"What's more important, Sasuke? Killing your brother or being an Uchiha? There are ways to get everything, but Orochimaru won't give them to you."

"And you will?"

"No. But Naruto would."

Sasuke hissed but said nothing.

Jiraiya turned. "Don't hate Naruto just because his bruises healed faster then yours will. He wasn't happy about them either."

Sasuke rubbed his neck. "They're nothing."

"Perhaps, but… I wonder."

"What?"

Jiraiya walked away. "Will _you_ say I tried to kill you?"

* * *

Naruto lay on his bed and tried to decide what to do. Hinata had left with her teacher, promising to return. He was regretting not asking her to bring ramen for dinner but she was a girl and got offended by strange things, possibly including demands for food. Definitely including yelling. He'd yelled at Iruka-sensei for years, but he hadn't cared. 

Had he?

He was still thinking about that when the door opened and a stranger entered. "I come bearing bribes!"

He stared. The stranger looked very…generic. Not very tall with a plain face, sandy brown hair, and grey eyes. He looked perfectly normal and, thus, very suspicious. Naruto did not know normal people. "Who're you?"

The man smiled. "Depends. Are you Uzumaki- or Naruto-kun?"

"Um, Naruto."

"Then I'm Chikao."

Naruto frowned.

"You could call me Chikao-san?"

"What do you want? You aren't from here."

"The accent always gives me away. I'm a medical specialist and the Fifth sent me."

"You're from Sand Village."

Chikao blinked. "You recognize it?"

"Gaara talked like that."

"You know Gaara? Hmm…"

"Why are you here? You aren't the nurse."

"I'm rather in-between. I'm finishing my training here before I go into the field."

"Aren't you old to be training?"

"I'm only 18."

"And you're still…"

"I'm a jounin. But I'm still studying medical techniques."

"Oh."

Chikao tossed him a bag. It crunched when Naruto caught it. "The bribe."

"Candy?"

"Wasn't sure what you'd want."

"Ramen!"

"That's awful hard to put in a bag."

"You can use a lid."

"If I could keep it warm."

Naruto pulled out a candy bar. "What's the bribe for?"

Chikao sat. "You have meet Gaara?"

"Yeah?"

"I took care of him when he was ill a couple times back in Sand Village. The bribes seemed to lighten his mood a bit."

"Really?"

"Yes. He only broke a few bones. No permanent damage, even."

Naruto stared at him.

"Although, my femur does ache a bit when it rains. Didn't really know that until coming here, though."

"He broke your arm?"

"The femur's a leg bone."

"He broke your leg?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Well, they were nasty colds."

"He broke your leg over a _cold?_"

"You did meet him, right?"

"Right, right. But still!"

Chikao shrugged. "He killed people for less."

"So why did you leave? Isn't he the, uh…"

"Kazekage's son?"

"Yeah."

"Because I would be the one who dealt with him and I'd eventually say the wrong thing. Besides, you have more advance medical specialists here."

"Like the old lady?"

"Who?"

"Tsunade."

"Ahh, the new Hokage, yes."

Naruto made as if to sit at the edge of the bed but stopped, embarrassed. "Still not used to that."

"Hopefully you won't have to."

"You've seen this before?"

"Well…not quite like yours. But with blindness."

"People can go _blind_ from hitting a wall?"

"Very rarely. But temporary blindness can be induced."

"How?"

"Nerves. It's technical."

"Show me!"

"That's probably not a good idea."

Naruto pouted. "Because my head is already messed up."

"Yes, but it's rarely a good idea to blind yourself anyway."

"Hey, hey, are you going to be around long?"

"Possibly."

"Possibly?"

"I wanted to meet you before deciding if I'd accept. In case you tried to eat me."

"Why would I eat people?"

Chikao looked pointedly at Naruto's stomach.

Naruto winced and looked away. Chikao stood. "Roll over."

"Eh?"

"I need to see your back. Roll onto your stomach."

"Oh." Naruto moved with only minimal help. "What're you doing?"

Chikao traced his hand up Naruto's spine. "Checking your nervous system and chakra flow."

"Didn't Tsunade do that?" 

"I haven't."

"Are you going to do this every day?"

"Probably. Does it tickle?"

"A little."

"We'll have to get you better soon then."

"Hmm…"

Chikao dug his thumbs into Naruto's back, making him yelp. "Relax."

Naruto grumbled. "Chikao, are you going to come back."

"I suppose. It'll be nice to work with a demon child who isn't trying to kill me. Didn't I just say to relax?" 

Authors note: I can't really think of much to say so I'll keep it short. The story is continuing (despite my slowness in updating) and comments make me feel warm and fuzzy. Please, think of the authors.


	5. Still Day 4

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, not me.

Warnings: Violence, some cursing.

Rating: I believe it's still PG-13. I always forget how much violence is allowed.

Chapter 5 – In which bad things happen

Sasuke entered the bathhouse pool and set his bucket and towel behind him. He sunk deep into the water. The place was empty and silent, just as he liked it. He let the warm water cover his neck to soothe the marks Jiraiya left on his neck that were already beginning to bruise.

He stared at the ceiling as he reviewed the last few days. He had been worried about Naruto, he could admit that to himself, but… Naruto was a teammate. He wouldn't let anyone he was close to, anyone he cared for, die. He wouldn't give his brother more weapons against him. He hadn't meant to visit so often, but Naruto hadn't gotten better and it had been a good place to avoid the girls. Hinata had been quiet and focused entirely on Naruto and the nurses were easily avoided. Besides, it wasn't like he'd ever see Naruto quiet again.

He really hadn't meant to visit after Naruto had woken up. He had better things to do and the boy had strangely belligerent to his visitors. Then Naruto had gotten himself hurt again and they'd argued—why wouldn't the fool ever shut up? —and it had…escalated. He really hadn't wanted to kill Naruto, or he would have, but it had been so easy. Far too easy to just fall into the argument, to lose control and just lash out and _hurt_ the accident-prone moron. Killing Naruto wouldn't have gained him anything but trouble from both the Anbu and his brother. He didn't have time to waste avoiding Anbu patrols and he wouldn't face his brother again until he could win. Besides, Naruto was as far from 'precious' as one could get. He was loud, head strong, and attempted to bull his way through all problems. He was overly competitive and would keep pestering you until he won. He was a true example of idiotic strength, and naïve to boot.

Someone hit him over the head.

He stood and spun; grabbing the kunai he'd hidden in his bucket on the way. Naruto sat smiling and brandishing his own bucket. "Yo."

He twitched. "What are you doing here, loser?"

"Taking a bath, stupid." Naruto spoke, pointing out the obvious. "Why else would I be here?"

Sasuke sat again, archly failing to respond.

"You're the one stalking me, remember?"

"I am not stalking you!"

"Yeah, yeah, so you say."

Sasuke turned again and reached out towards him. Naruto raised his bucket defensively. Before Sasuke could touch the blond genin he was picked up by a new arrival.

"Wah! Chikao-san!"

Sasuke looked the older man over as Naruto struggled ineffectively. He was the least prepossessing person he'd ever seen, right down to his relaxed posture and quiet smile. Chikao essentially ignored him, focusing on quieting Naruto.

"Remember, you promised to behave. It wasn't easy getting you out, you know."

Naruto grumbled as Chikao stepped in the water and set him down by Sasuke. "I could've gotten in myself."

"It's faster this way. Don't pout, you look like a child."

Naruto glowered.

"That's better. Do try and behave. I hate fighting in the water." That said Chikao moved to the other side of the pool, leaving them alone. He hadn't even looked at Sasuke.

"Who was that?" Sasuke asked.

"Chikao-san."

"Why's he following you?"

"He's kind of a medical ninja. I guess Tsunade told him to make sure I get better, or something."

"Since when have you rated a private nurse? Especially now."

"I'm important! Because I'm going to be the next Hokage! And he's…well, kinda in-between. See, he doesn't have that silly hat."

"That wasn't a real explanation."

Naruto smirked. "I guess I'm just special then."

Sasuke froze. Dead-last Naruto, the most incompetent ninja in their class, was special enough to rate his own nurse? This fool, who could barely be left alone for five minutes even on trivial missions, got the personal attention of the Hokage? How…

Naruto poked his neck. "What happened to you?"

Sasuke blinked.

"Your neck looks awful."

Sasuke felt his anger melting in the face of such unmitigated stupidity. "Moron."

"Don't call me that!"

There was a brief, blissful silence.

"You never answered me." Naruto said, breaking it.

"What?"

"About your neck."

Sasuke resisted the urge to touch it. "Training accident."

Naruto glowered. Then splashed him.

"What was that for?"

Naruto made a face at him.

Sasuke growled but couldn't start a fight with a third person around. Naruto spoke again. "Hey, Sasuke?"

"What?"

Naruto didn't continue but stared at Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke swore. He'd forgotten to cover the curse seal! A quick look to Chikao found the man half asleep and apparently oblivious. He couldn't just put a towel over his shoulders now, though, that would attract attention. He lowered himself further into the water. He didn't want to risk anyone else walking in and seeing it.

Naruto poked him again. Sasuke slapped his hand away. "Leave me alone."

"Just answer my question!"

"My shoulder or my neck?"

"There's a difference?"

Sasuke didn't respond. When Naruto tried to poke him again he grabbed him and pulled him off balance. Naruto ended up sprawled across his lap with a kunai pressed against his throat. "You need to learn to listen."

Naruto bit him.

Sasuke swore and pushed him away. Naruto had bitten through the skin and blood was now welling on his arm. He glared at Naruto, who was rubbing at the scratch on his neck. Naruto glared defiantly back and their gazes locked. They stared at each other for a long time, neither willing to back down. The duel was only broken when Chikao stepped between them. "That's enough. You shouldn't fight in the bath."

They both frowned at him.

"Don't sulk. You've been glaring at each other for half an hour. We need to be clean and back before the Hokage comes to check up on you."

"I'm not a baby!"

"You're a patient."

Naruto sulked.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up. It'll be faster if I help."

Naruto's protests quieted as Chikao moved and he could see past him. Sasuke was gone.

* * *

Chikao was sitting at the nurses' station filling in some paperwork when his uncle put a hand on his shoulder. "Yes?" 

"You accepted working with the Uzumaki boy?"

"It seemed prudent."

"But…"

"I'll be fine. He didn't bite me."

Yakushi Kano looked unhappy. "I thought you left Sand to escape this."

"I left to escape Gaara."

"A demon is a demon."

"I guess."

"I thought you were planning to join a team soon?" Kano tried a different angle.

"Who'd trust a Sand ninja right now?"

"Chikao…"

Chikao spoke more seriously. "The Fifth asked me personally. Accepting is hardly going to hurt me."

"But this could be permanent."

"It probably won't be. She seems confident about that. And I can leave."

"I just don't think it's a good idea."

"I thought that was the one thing you shouldn't say to a teenager?"

Kano sighed. "I suppose you have your reasons."

Chikao smiled faintly. "I always do."

* * *

Shikamaru sighed as he walked the hospital halls. Why did he still have to listen to Ino's demands? She just wanted information to lord over Sakura, she could check in on Naruto herself. Opening the door to the room he stepped in. "Hey." 

Eight pairs of eyes turned to stare at him.

"Since when did you become so popular?"

"Shut up!" Naruto protested. "Why are you here anyway?"

"No reason. Just thought I'd visit."

"Oh. Come in then!"

"Would eight people fit in here?"

"Nine!"

He shook his head. "Dogs don't count, Kiba."

Akamaru growled.

Iruka stood, ready as ever to stop a fight. "Now, Shikamaru, Kiba-"

"How do you know Naruto-niichan?"

"Who's the kid?"

"I'm not a kid, I'm Konohamaru!"

Shikamaru ignored him. "They let dogs on beds?"

Kiba glared. "Akamaru goes where he wants."

"Hmm…" Shikamaru drawled, skipping past the other two kids to Hinata. "So girls do visit you."

"Of course! Two girls!"

"Two?"

Naruto pointed to one of the brats. "Moegi!"

Shikamaru watched her blush and act demure. He made a face. "Way too much trouble. I'm out of here."

"Ahh, wait!" Iruka called after him.

"Hmm?"

Iruka smiled. "Congratulations on becoming a chuunin."

And then the shouting started. It was really annoying.

* * *

Naruto sprawled backwards on his bed, feet propped on the pillows, as he read one of the books Iruka had brought him. He was so quiet the nurse reached the bed before she noticed. 

"How did you get turned around?"

Naruto set the book down and smiled. "It's comfy."

"Pillows are for heads. We have cushions, if you want them."

"I'm fine."

She sighed and changed tack. "Did you eat all your dinner?"

He made a face. "Yeah. Iruka-sensei glared at me."

"It's so nice of him to come every day. I heard you had a number of guests today."

"It's not my fault they all came at once."

"Aren't you happy to be so popular?"

"With Kiba and Shikamaru?"

She ruffled his hair. "Shall we turn you around now or do you plan to sleep that way?"

"I can turn myself!"

"Yes, but it's easier with two."

He frowned indignantly. She backed off again. "These flowers are pretty. Who brought them?"

"Hinata. She dropped 'em a couple times."

"They're still very nice. You're quiet tonight, did your guests talk you out?"

"Maybe."

"You've taken your medicine?"

"Yep!"

"Then I'll go. You must be tired. But do remember to sleep on the pillows, okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

She laughed as she headed for the door.

"Machiko?" Naruto interrupted her. "How long have you lived here?"

"In Hidden Leaf? Umm…Eight years now. I moved here when I married. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. Just curious."

She looked at him a moment. "And here I thought I'd lost my accent."

"It wasn't that."

"Then?"

He hesitated. "Really, just curiosity."

"Well then, goodnight."

"Goodnight."

He watched her leave before turning back to his book. After a minute he set it down again and stared at his flowers. "Sakura-chan…"

* * *

Sakura groaned as her father carried more plates into the kitchen. They'd eaten dinner late and it seemed that every dish in the house had been used to cook it. She set the glass she'd just cleaned aside to dry. "That's the end, right?" 

He ruffled her hair. "I think so, sweetie."

With the end in sight, finally, she returned to work.

Her father lingered. "Sweetie?"

"Mmm?"

"How are your teammates doing?"

"Eh? Umm…Sasuke's all right, I guess." She really didn't want to talk about him right now, though, not after the strange way he'd been acting the day before last.

"And the…Uzumaki boy?"

"Naruto? Umm…" She stalled as she panicked. She knew she should have visited him again! She was going to seem totally selfish now! "He's getting visitors now, so, uh, he's doing better too."

"Visitors? Really? Who would-ah, well, I suppose so."

She watched him shift uncomfortably. He'd never asked about Naruto before, though he had inquired about Sasuke once or twice. Her mother hadn't shown much interest in Naruto either. Odd.

"Why are you so quiet?" Her mother asked, sailing into the kitchen, thankfully not carrying anymore dishware.

"I was just asking about the Uzumaki boy."

"Why? This is a good opportunity, if you ask me. You can get on a real team now, darling!"

Sakura nearly dropped a handful of spoons. A new team? Without Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi? Naruto was an annoyance but who would replace him? Ino? No, Naruto, bad as he was, was a bearable bother. They couldn't replace him with a girl. That would be awful. She didn't want some unknown boy joining either. They'd developed a sort of uneasy balance in the past months and Sasuke wouldn't be happy about having to deal with someone new.

She shook her head. No way she'd just been wishing Naruto would stay on the team. He was a pain and always competing with Sasuke. She didn't want him hurt but she wouldn't miss him. Hell no!

She turned to her parents, who seemed to be arguing quietly in the other room now. Maybe her mom was right. It'd be good to replace him. Change wasn't always bad.

Though, on the other hand, it wasn't always good either.

* * *

Naruto yelped as someone woke him by lifting him by the hair. "The hell?" 

The person simply held him up as he struggled to support himself. Blinking back tears he tried to focus through the darkness to see who it was. It took him a minute to find a distinguishing feature. As he opened his mouth to accuse Sasuke, since only he could have sharingan, he was dropped. "What do you _want?_ Leave me alone already!"

Sasuke covered his mouth with a hand. "Quiet."

Naruto glared then bit into the hand, drawing blood for the second time that day. Sasuke slapped him to free himself. He then hefted the dazed Naruto over his shoulder. Naruto growled and failed to squirm free. "Sasuke! Let me go, you absolute ass!"

Someone else chuckled in the background. "It seems your little brother has been causing problems, hmm?"

As Naruto turned to see whom else was there he noticed how far off the ground he was. He would admit, grudgingly, that Sasuke was taller than him, but he wasn't this tall. He also noticed they were wearing a cloak. Not Sasuke then, so…

Itachi turned to Kisame. "Apparently."

Naruto swore internally as he considered the situation. He couldn't fight both of them, not like this. He couldn't even get leverage to elbow Itachi.

Kisame laughed. "Seems he's lost his fire."

This was very bad. He shifted and quickly reached down his shirt. Itachi dropped him and backed away a step to watch for an attack.

Naruto landed hard on his butt but was already reaching under the mattress for the weapons he'd hidden there. He dragged himself under the bed.

The jounin hesitated before moving to either side of the bed. When Naruto failed to emerge or attack Itachi gestured to Kisame who lifted the bed and tossed it against the far wall. Naruto threw a kunai with an explosion tag attached at him. Kisame dodged it but the explosion when it hit the wall combined with the alarm triggered by the bed's destruction guaranteed someone would come and check. He moved to stand over Naruto with his sword at the ready. "Troublesome brat."

"Don't."

"But-"

Itachi bound Naruto by the wrists with some rope he pulled from his cloak. He threw the boy over his shoulder again. "Handle things here. Meet me."

"If you say so."

Itachi was at the window when the door opened and jumped out as a woman screamed behind them. And then they were rushing across the rooftops. Naruto quickly became nauseated and lost, unable as he was to focus on any landmarks. He was so jostled that the kunai he'd tucked up his sleeve came free and clattered down a roof into a gutter. That made Itachi pause but they were soon off again. The mad rush ended at the top of a random tree in a courtyard Naruto didn't recognize. Itachi dropped him and vanished.

Naruto landed hard on his back on a branch but, after a small struggle, he slipped and fell the rest of the way down. He lay on the ground, stunned and breathless, as he tried to think. He had no weapons and wasn't sure where he was. Very bad. The freaky water guy wasn't with them but they were going to meet. That wasn't good. But that was all moot if he couldn't even stand.

Naruto concentrated entirely on his left foot and attempted to move it. He was so intent on his task that he actually screamed, in a matter most definitely not like a little girl, when somebody landed on him. The body was lifted and Itachi looked down at him. "Are you always so loud?"

Naruto spent a moment intensely hating the Uchiha clan. Both of them. Then he winced as blood dripped on him. He couldn't see clearly but the gaping neck wound and suspicious rents in their clothing indicated the unknown person was dead. The mask indicated they had been Anbu. So, here he lay helpless with Itachi dangling a dead and bleeding jounin over him and Shark Guy was out there somewhere, probably getting closer and definitely intending to remove limbs.

Very, very bad. Disastrous.

He immediately switched efforts to not panicking.

Itachi dropped the Anbu again, looking over his shoulder. "A whole squad."

When he was gone again, presumably to investigate and hopefully not to kill anyone else, Naruto began searching the dead man for weapons. He was very glad it wasn't a woman, since he wouldn't know where to begin. He managed to tuck a couple kunai away, despite his horrendous lack of pockets, and was risking a search for more when someone grabbed one still-bound wrist. Itachi lifted him to his feet with a grip so tight it indicated any struggle would precede bones breaking.

"You're almost as foolish as my little brother."

"Killing Anbu isn't so smart!"

Itachi nodded. "Neither was leaving the group."

"I doubt they expected you'd be here."

"They expected someone." Itachi announced, his voice almost curious. "Anbu don't move in squads within the village."

Naruto blinked. "Really?"

Itachi looked away, frowning slightly. Naruto hated being ignored but focused again on his legs. He'd get even later. A very long silence followed. Naruto broke it with a small noise.

Itachi turned to him, noting a shift of weight as well. Naruto, spotting the opening, kicked him in the knee. Itachi staggered and Naruto, almost as surprised by his precipitous return to mobility, wrested himself free. He didn't attack but ran away.

He still wasn't sure where he was but that didn't matter .He knew places to hide all over the village so he could find a bolthole anywhere. If he could free his hands he could even set a trap.

A lit window gave him an idea and he stood on the wall outside it to jimmy the lock. He broke in, shut the window behind him, and ran into another room before the people inside could react. He ended up in the bathroom.

He stabbed one of the kunai he'd taken into a wall and began sawing through his bonds. It took a while but no one interrupted him. After freeing himself he turned to the door and considered his options. He thought the people were male so that made things easier. A quick Sexy Technique later he opened the door. "Ah…"

He trailed off as Itachi glared at him. The other ninja was standing over the bodies of the former occupants of the room. He squeaked and shut the door as Itachi began walking towards him. He dropped the illusion and crouched beside the door. Itachi slid the door open and stepped in, looking quickly over the ceiling. Naruto stabbed at his leg and hip-checked him into the tub before running out of the room and back out the now open window.

He fled, searching for something he recognized. He wasn't really thinking any more but he knew he couldn't use another house to hide in. He would have to find some secluded, hidden location and he'd have to find it fast.

Luck struck when he ran across the Academy. He could get anywhere from there. He took off in a new direction and quickly ran though a gamut of twisted, shadowy paths leading to an old, abandoned basement. The building above had been renovated but the builders had simply boarded up and covered the old basement. It was almost impossible to find if you didn't know where the old exit was. He squeezed inside and huddled in a corner, trying to calm down and think. The obvious solution was to wait until daybreak and then run to Tsunade, but…

Naruto shook his head. It wasn't running away, not really. He was just trying to gain back some advantage. Or something. He couldn't fight two enemies alone but with Tsunade or Jiraiya they could definitely win.

Decided, he began to relax. He'd caught his breath and the darkness was making him just a little groggy when something grabbed his ankle. He yelped at the suddenness of it and was once again hauled into the air.

Kisame laughed as he dangled the genin. "That was close. But you can't escape both of us."

Naruto was swung over and dropped onto an old table, which somehow didn't collapse under his weight. Kisame pulled off a sandal and pressed a kunai against his foot. "Try to run and I start cutting parts of you off."

Naruto winced as Itachi lit a lamp he'd picked up somewhere. He thought it might be from a stash he'd left here before, he'd never liked hiding in the dark, but he couldn't focus on the memory. Itachi handed it to Kisame, who moved to stand by Naruto's side. Not that it would help, since he hadn't put the kunai away. Itachi sat beside him and grabbed his chin. He clenched his eyes shut.

"Look at me." Itachi commanded quietly, with a voice that would have been very nice if it had belonged to anyone else.

For a surreal moment Naruto wondered if Sasuke's father had sounded like that. If Sasuke would sound like that, if… He shook his head.

Itachi grabbed his left wrist again with his free hand. "I said, open your eyes."

"No."

"Better do it, kid." Kisame advised.

Naruto didn't. He did scream when Itachi broke his pinky though.

"You'd be surprised how many bones can be broken. Just open your eyes."

Naruto attempted to make his voice more forceful then a whimper. "I said, no."

Itachi systematically broke the fingers of his left hand, pausing between each. When Naruto still hadn't opened his eyes he dropped it. He pulled out a knife and placed the tip against Naruto's nose. "You will open your eyes. One way or another."

Naruto finally obeyed. "You wouldn't!"

He never got a chance to say just what Itachi wouldn't do as the world went funny and he was suddenly standing somewhere else.

* * *

_ Naruto walked slowly out of town, muttering under his breath. He was stopped when someone behind him called his name. He turned and stared at the person standing at the end of the street. "Kabuto-san? Why are you here?"_

_ Kabuto smiled. Naruto noticed he wasn't wearing his forehead protector. "I'm here with my teacher. I just noticed you walking by and wondered if you'd like to get something to eat. Ramen?"_

_ Naruto was going to protest. Until he said the magic word. "Sure!"_

_ He couldn't take long, he had a lot of practicing to do, but surely it couldn't hurt to spend some time with Kabuto?_

_ Naruto, somehow also standing back and watching the scene he was taking part of, winced as Itachi put a hand over his eyes, pulling him back against the missing nin. Itachi watched as Kabuto and the Naruto in the memory walked away._

_ "So, it was Orochimaru." He said. He put his other hand under Naruto's chin, tilting his head back as if to look him in the eyes though they were still covered. "And then what, Naruto-kun?"_

_

* * *

_

Kisame shook his head as Naruto finally complied and stillness settled back over the basement. It was only a moment but, as he looked away, he missed the change in Naruto's eyes.

Authors notes:

Action scenes shouldn't be so difficult, I guess I have to practice more. Hopefully this cleared up a little of the Sasuke confusion. If not…um… look, Itachi! And at least we know who kidnapped Naruto. The, uh, first time. ... I like cliffhangers.

I probably should've mentioned my tendency to be mean to characters and the fact I'm not above killing them off for plot points before, shouldn't I? The more you know…

Hopefully it won't be long until the next chapter is up, but I graduate on Saturday so I can't say exactly when. I tend to write slowly, as you've probably noticed by now. I believe that's all - questions can be asked here or over on LJ. LJ will net you a more thorough (and faster) response.


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